437. While You Sleep I Lie Alone

While you sleep I lie alone,

And cry, curled up, in my old home.

In the corner, where I lie,

I cry, and cry, and cry, and cry;

Yet never does the house fill up,…

The tears, they always dry right up,

And leave me all alone.

While you sleep I lie alone,

And drift away to my old home,

Where even tears wave me goodbye;

As swiftly as they drop…they dry,

As if they never fell at all.

Time ticks and forgets it all.

Nothing left, just dust and bone,

And memories left all alone…

On the floor.

K. Aldaya, 4/25/18

Advertisements

357. Sleep

alone-arms-bed-depressed-depressing-emo-Favim.com-47601

You always sleep when I cry,

And one day you will when I lie…

in a coffin: the bed of the cursed.

Remember you shunned my pain first!

You always ignore when I bleed,

And don’t bother to stop and take heed.

Blades listen much sharper than you.

Isn’t blood now on your hands too?

You always disregard my words…

They drift onto paper like cowards;

Afraid to take to the air,

And be blown away without a care.

You always sleep when I cry,

And one day when I up and die.

Remember I told you I would.

Living: Tell me why I should!

K. Aldaya, 6/15/16

Picture: Originally posted by Doreese on Tumblr; http://favim.com/image/47601/

243. Live for the Moment

rainy_night_by_gmk9vii-d8djhcj

Late I lie when all are sleeping.

In my bed tossing and stressing.

I try to think not ‘gain of weeping,

But my mind won’t listen.

I cannot run from the reelings,

Of life movies inwardly playing.

Cannot stop or destroy the feelings,

Which torture yet again.

The pain of living with the truth,

Bleeds me dry, until I lie,

Closed-off and aloof;

I am the walking dead.

I long to get it out of me.

The shame and pain and memories.

There is no way, don’t you agree?

To save my soul anyway?

I could bleed it out my veins.

I could bandage and heal it,

But the truth is as long as I have veins,

The pain will be there too.

Only a moment would I find relief,

By taking care of outwardly-pain;

Then later, heal, and feel only grief,

That the mark is gone.

As I still feel the pain…didn’t heal at all!

No matter how much I bleed it’s there,

So what can I do?  I have to live or fall.

A moment longer.  A moment.

I must live for the moment or die.

Let it all out and cry.

K. Aldaya, 07/23/13

Picture:  “Rainy Night” by GMK9VII on Deviant Art; http://www.deviantart.com/art/Rainy-Night-506473363

214. Scream or Shout

173332

So many thoughts inside my head,

But how to get them out?

I wish I knew, or had one clue,

As to how to scream or shout!

All this pain locked away,

Since the dawn of time.

My skin is pain, although in vain,

I ask to know my crime.

Rock is cold and has no soul,

And feels not pain or sorrow.

How is it then, my skin feels it when,

My soul hides deep in marrow?

So many thoughts inside my head,

But how to get them out?

They hide behind, walls of stone and bind….

My tears:  They scream…..they shout!

K. Aldaya, 05/23/11

Picture:  Artist Unknown; http://www.free-hdwallpapers.com/wallpapers/abstract/173332.jpg

20. Unshed Tears

fear_of_drowning_by_starfishyy-d5cqnvk

Tears, I feel them,

Yet not one does drop.

They are there,

Holding still,

Under flesh they dwell.

Resting and dragging your soul,

Down and down;

Making you feel as if you’ll drown.

Why don’t they leave?

Why can’t they fall?

Tears, I feel them,

Yet not one does fall.

They are there, holding still,

Under flesh they dwell…

If only they fell.

K. Aldaya, 9/15/02

Picture: Fear of Drowning by Starfishyy on Deviant Art; http://starfishyy.deviantart.com/art/Fear-of-Drowning-323730272

12. Rain for You

Heavy Downpour

How can the patter of rain move your soul so?

And the silence of the earth turn your mind on low?

How can the sound calm your very core?

And lead you to rest at sadnesses’ flowing shore?

Yet, how can you yearn for it’s arrival, and still wish for it’s leave?

And be so needed by your soul to empty you with a heave?

K. Aldaya, 4/21/03

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://nowiknow.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/rain.jpeg