210. My Gift to You

I cannot give you everything.

The stars I cannot reach.

A mortal am I and one day I will die;

Just as those whom in prayers we beseech.

I cannot give you gold and jewels,

Or titles and castles.

I will though give, what I can as we live,

Together as earthly vassals.

I cannot give you perfection,

If such a thing there were.

Capricious. Perfidious.

And a ‘God’ lifes’ one comforter.

I cannot give you everything,

Yet this I give to you.

A hope.  A prayer.

A joy, and a care.

A promise to look after you.

And forever give, should I now die or live,

All the love which my heart could now or ever give.

K. Aldaya, 4/12/08

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://blog.myheritage.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/1221258221F3Les7b.jpg

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151. Vital Source

Dear Father-eternal,

Please grant me but one wish….

So I may endure full,

Of strength and carnal-resolve;

A mounting, rushing, chestful.

I beg of you, please send,

A soul burning with loves’ desire,

Furtive intoxication to fend,

Off this wastelands’ turbid-gale.

Let passioned-love transcend.

I ask you, show mercy!

Kill me now if it can’t be,

For to live one more night lonely,

Is worse than any early death.

Lord, please hear my heavy plea.

I beseech you Lord,

With every drop of blood stirring,

Don’t leave me with but a sword,

To fend-off proved heart-loathing,

‘Lone marching to a grave onward.

Pardon me but one true love,

To prove the undertaker wrong,

Live out this lifetime through,

In decadently engaged vitalities,

Which, with time, more eloquently imbue.

K. Aldaya, 6/30/05

Picture: Lie to Me: Kang Ji Hwan and Yoon Eun Hye; http://images6.fanpop.com/image/photos/33800000/Lie-to-me-lie-to-me-korean-drama-33896470-1280-720.jpg

98. A Redemptive Plea

Please forgive me for my weakness.

I long to live for you in goodness,

But being born a freak like me,

I’m unfit to be linked to ye!

I long to be the best for you,

To show kindness in all I do.

I truly care and have a heart,

But guilt ever tears me apart.

Forgive me for being so bad,

And often sinking in pasts’ sad.

Forgive me. Please forgive me!

I love you. I’m sorry to be,

Such a horrible person….

A horrible nothing could worsen.

K. Aldaya, 11/07/04

Picture:  “Gothic Prayer” by Anne Stokes: http://www.annestokes.com/gothic/

97. Hold the Sorrowful People

Oh ‘God’ so many sad souls there are,

Bring them near despite their wish for far.

Oh ‘God’ up on high,

Hold all the sad and weary nigh.

Oh ‘God’, let them know your face,

Though burdened find eternal grace.

Oh ‘God’ show them heavens’ gates.

An infinite life where true happiness awaits!

K. Aldaya, 11/07/04

74. Castaway

Dear ‘God’, please remember me when I reach heaven’s ingress.

Hold me close as can be, for I have such loneliness.

Dear ‘God’, why do they all leave?

Why always left here alone?

Daily soul to grieve and grieve,

‘Til my heart is dead as stone.

Dear ‘God’, I’ll pretend you’re here.

Standing next to me smiling.

Glancing at me so dear,

This dream keeps me trying.

Dear ‘God’, would you stay always,

With this ‘lone forsaken soul?

Upon which none do gaze,

Left by the world unwhole.

Dear ‘God’, maybe you care for me?

People pass me on their way,

But don’t care to know me,

A lonely castaway.

K. Aldaya, 9/16/04

Picture: by dear_wes on Weheartit.com; http://weheartit.com/entry/65224866/via/dear_wes

65. Aegre Fero

Aegre Fero,

My Lord! My Lord!

I’m the mightiest sinner,

Guilt can afford.

Aegre Fero,

My father! My father!

Forgive me my wrongs,

And the darkness blur.

Aegre Fero,

My Master! My Master!

Remember and love me.

The darkness grows vaster!

K. Aldaya, 6/14/04

(Aegre fero: latin for I am sorry)

48. Am I Singing the Right Song?

‘God’? Where do I belong?

Am I singing the right song?

I don’t feel that I’ll fit,

In any group that I commit.

I don’t have friends in kins,

And I am of many sins.

Many groups can be very critical,

In my faults they’d have a mouthful.

I understand them all a bit,

But where oh ‘God’ do I fit?

I love and try to do good,

But I think not as most would.

‘God’? Where do I belong?

Am I singing the right song?

K. Aldaya, 3/21/04

Picture:  I Don’t Belong Here by Cosmiksquirel on Deviant Art; http://cosmiksquirel.deviantart.com/art/I-don-t-belong-here-51229927