400. Brother Dear, Don’t Leave Me Here

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Brother dear, don’t leave me here.

It’s lonely in this closet.

Sister dear, I fear…I fear,

The harms which men commit.

Sister dear, don’t leave me here.

It’s lonely in this room.

Brother dear, I fear…I fear,

This life will be my tomb.

Brother dear, don’t leave me here.

It’s lonely in my mind.

Sister dear, I fear…I fear,

I’ll one day lose my mind.

Sister dear, don’t leave me here,

It’s lonely without you.

Brother dear, I fear…I fear,

The past we can’t undo.

K. Aldaya, 6/22/17

Picture: From Pinterest; http://weheartit.com/entry/27044263

399. Safe Harbor

Lips are moving…moving fast,

Yet I can not hear a word.

People walking…walking past,

Just outside of myself.

Wake me up…up to you;

To the world in which you dwell.

So far away…far away.

I stumbled back and fell.

I hit my face…my face hard,

To try and make it to you.

The skin: my cage…cage and guard,

Locks me in here again.

Now I see…see distantly,

The place called: reality.

People live there…there alive,

While I live inside me.

What have you said…said to me?

I do not understand you.

A million miles…miles from me.

You soon grow frustrated.

I do not blame…blame your words…

Of anger for no reply.

Yet if I spoke…spoke to you,

My words would just belie.

My bones they walk…walk and speak,

In a world beyond control.

My skin a shell…shell to peek…

Eyes outward, safe from harm.

Hands are moving…moving fast,

In belligerent retort.

How can I leave…leave here now?

Without harbor or port?

You push me out…out to sea,

Where I float just out of reach.

If only hands…hands held me…

Close, in understanding.

Please don’t push…push me away.

I just need some time and space.

When I feel…feel safe again,

I’ll hoist my sail and race,

Toward harbor…harbor and shore,

Where I’ll land upon life’s coast.

You may pull…pull me ashore,

Or push me out to sea.

Though if you care…care for me,

Then pull or leave me alone,

And I’ll make my way…way back,

When it’s safe, on my own.

K. Aldaya, 6/21/17

Picture: http://all-free-download.com/free-photos/download/small-yacht-at-sea_204659.html

398. I…I Don’t Want to Die

I…I don’t want to die.

“But you are broken, you say?

The only way to fix you,

Is for you to simply die,

And be reborn as someone new.”

I…I don’t want to die.

I know that I am broken,

And that’s all you can see;

Yet, why do I have to die,

For you to be able to love me?

I…I don’t want to die.

Do I really have no worth?

Am I something to be tossed,

And left all alone to die?

Am I truly one of the lost?

I…I don’t want to die.

I just want you to stay here;

To hold me close and tell me,

That I do not have to die,

For you to see me as worthy.

For you to be able to love me…

I…I don’t want to die.

K. Aldaya, 5/29/17

Picture: from Sherlock; http://pharlapcartoonist.tumblr.com/

397. Go to the Water

Flow. Flow. Flow in the water.

Tears flowing forth.

Time runs it’s course,

In the flowing forth of words from mouths.

Nothing but a freak.

A child: lost and meek,

Cursed to bear the cost of others’ sorrows.

Fates can not be changed.

Experiences rearranged.

Once set into motion it continues.

Flow. Flow. Flow in the water.

“Kill yourself today.

You’re in everybody’s way.

Why can’t you see your fate is sealed.

No one wants you here.

Curse’s won’t disappear.

Why must you fight the flowing of the water.”

The window is ajar,

And beyond is just a bar.

One step and then it will all be over.

Flow. Flow. Flow in the water.

Nobody will stop you.

You know what you must do.

Look down into the darkness of the water.

Their eyes are looking up.

Go on, they’ve had enough.

It will only hurt a little longer.

Legs break in the fall.

Nobody cares at all.

They watch you with the coldness of the water.

Flow. Flow. Flow in the water.

Crawl to the boat’s tip.

Take a little slip.

Fall down face first into shivering water.

Can not swim away.

Lungs fill up straight away.

Choke upon the apathy of strangers.

Bodies soon grow cold,

As souls release their hold,

And all that’s left’s another child forgotten.

Flow. Flow. Flow in the water.

No one speaks the name.

Life goes on just the same,

As bodies drift away on the water.

Cruelty is a plague.

Apathy digs a grave,

Which buries all the outcast little children.

Flow. Flow. Flow in the water…

…Go. Go. Go to the water…

…….Go. Go. Go to the water.

K. Aldaya, 5/21/17

Picture: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22892496-dust-to-dust

396. Fly Away Child

The grass-blades blew around my feet,

As a child I looked to the sky.

I knew you were my everything,

Yet one day, that you would die.

I studied you in the distance;

A form of God on earth.

I worshipped without question,

The toiler of my birth.

I called out with no reply.

I saw you there unmoving.

I wondered why you were so still,

Neither loving nor disapproving.

Like a picture of a memory,

You were perfect in my eyes;

With a smile: warm and tender.

I was naive and unwise.

Then a feeling hit me like a rock,

And I ran as tears fell down.

I ran, and ran, and ran,

Through the wheat at dawn.

I came so close to you,

I swear I heard your heart,

And as you faded away,

I kept listening for your heart.

Yet, your heart, it left with you,

Along with my youth.

You left me unsure of my worth,

For to me, you were it’s proof.

I was only a child afraid,

Who wanted you to stay,

But my picture of you drifted,

On the winds of a new day.

You never ran to me, not once;

Nor cared to hear my heart.

If I ever needed a hug,

Or if I’d fallen apart.

I wish I’d known on that day long ago,

No matter how hard I ran,

I’d never have made it there in time,

For you to hold my hand.

The grass-blades blew around my feet,

On the day I said goodbye,

To the picture I had of you,

And turned toward the sky.

It’s blue was as an ocean: pure,

I found hope in it’s peace,

That even those left all alone,

May find their love increase.

The grass-blades blew around my feet,

As a child I looked to the sky.

I wish I could have let her know,

That one day she’d be able to fly…

Into the loving arms of some distant, future sky.

K. Aldaya, 5/20/17

Picture: https://www.videezy.com/free-video/cornfield

395. All or Nothing

The me I would have been,

I can not recall.

I don’t know the me which existed,

Before life changed it all.

I don’t remember the good times,

When things weren’t dark and cold,

Or know what to tell my child self,

Whose body is growing old.

People say, “forget the past”,

But it makes us who we are,

And I can’t changed how it’s shaped me,

Just by wishing on a star.

I have all these broken parts,

Who are still stuck in one place,

While time moves on around them,

Yet they never age in pace.

They live just as ghosts,

Haunting their old home;

They’re separated, in one place,

Surrounded and yet alone.

I don’t know how to exorcise;

To banish parts of me.

If I ever did know how though,

Which one of them would I be?

The me I would have been,

I can not recall.

The me I was, is shattered,

I’m no longer one…I am all…

…or nothing.

K. Aldaya, 5/18/17

394. My Greatest Sin

I wish that I had been born,

With just the right type of skin.

I wish I knew how to make it work,

When I just don’t fit in.

I try so hard to look like them,

And duplicate their ways;

Yet no matter how hard I try,

I feel so unseen in their gaze.

I wish I had a way to make,

Things work out in the end.

To make my form a better fit,

And no longer have to pretend;

But I fear my fate is as set,

As the very skin I reside.

Born too thin to weather on,

Or remain long by your side.

I blame myself for everything.

For being born unfit.

For being a burden to everyone,

And being too selfish to quit.

For wanting what I know is wrong;

Wanting what can not be.

I know I am a fool to wish,

For what will never be.

I’ve always wanted to be the one,

Who helps you live your dreams.

I hope one day you’ll forgive me,

When my skin rips at the seams.

Thank you for holding me so close.

For loving me anyway,

And maybe if I pray enough,

I can come back to you someday…

In another life. Another time.

Born the same as you,

With thicker skin and thicker blood,

And we’ll live our dreams, me and you.

I wish I had been born,

With the same type of skin.

I wish I knew how to live for you,

When I just don’t fit in.

In a life where I’m your burden,

And you’re my greatest sin.

K. Aldaya, 5/15/17

Picture: Posted by Southern Sweetie on Bloglovin.com; https://www.bloglovin.com/blogs/southern-sweetie-4084552/photo-1609929381

390. Heaven

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Let us meet upon the spectral plains of Elysium,

Where all are equal in the eyes of the sun,

As we rest our heads to dream forever,

Of what could never be on Earth;

And of ties which could not sever,

Us, from our birth.

Rest your head upon my shoulder and dream of yesterdays,

As the labors of blood and flesh fade away.

Here you’re my brother, my sister, my kin.

Our fates are eternally bound.

Beyond prejudice, fear, and sin,

Heaven is found.

K. Aldaya, 3/22/17

Picture: Uploaded by Kipketera on 7-themes.com; http://7-themes.com/6998738-fantasy-grass-field.html

389. The Web

Each word read,

A simple thought,

Yet when one meets another;

A web forms of connected thoughts,

And abstract intricacies.

The web spreads,

To snatch and learn;

To glean each captured phrase.

Read, listen; Ever more yearn,

For universal truth.

Each architect,

Grasps and weaves,

As the scope ever increases.

The more learned, the more one grieves,

The endlessness of thought.

The web purveys,

And never ends;

As learning leads to wisdom;

And learning never ends,

So humans become victims.

Frantically.

Passionately.

Brains weave and contemplate,

Truths too vast in scope to be,

Contained in human bone.

Each word read,

A simple thought,

Yet when one joins another.

A web forms of connected thoughts,

And “Insanity’s” it’s name.

K. Aldaya, 3/15/17

Picture: Tomás Saraceno, Galaxy Forming along Filaments, like Droplets along the Strands of a Spider’s Web, at the Venice Biennial, 2009; http://theredlist.com/wiki-2-351-382-1160-1166-view-argentina-profile-saraceno-tomas.html

388. Broken Vessel

I had no right to refuse you,

For I had no rights at all.

You locked me within your eyes,

And from then on I was all…

You could see.

You gazed at me with doting eyes,

While you bled your victims dry.

You didn’t plan to kill me too,

And I didn’t want to die…

Just like them.

You stared into my eyes so deep.

You invaded my brain.

I became your loving home,

And you drove me insane…

With your thoughts.

Pleasure and pain you intermix.

As you love, so do you cry.

You drown me in your tears and rage,

While I lie still and try…

To go home.

Yet there’s no home to go back to,

Nor any door you cannot access.

You and I, we share this home,

And trying to escape: a hopeless…

Endeavor.

You walk these halls eternally,

And you, my fate, have judged.

The walls are made of bitter tears,

And each bloody lash is smudged…

Into bars.

I have no right to hate you,

For I have no rights at all.

You stole far down into my soul,

And from then on you were all…

That I am.

The criminal and the victim.

The loved and the lost.

The guilty and the innocent.

The vessel which you tossed…

To the side…

…broken.

K. Aldaya, 3/10/17

387. Lullaby of the Lost

Song Link

Where do the dead go and who can follow?

Will you go to where they lie?

Will you search the darkest hollow,

To find the truth before we die?

Where do the lost go and who will find them?

Does anyone care they’re gone?

Who will pull-out each thorny rose stem,

Upon their heads when they are gone?

Where do our thoughts go and who will remember,

The sufferings of this mortal coil?

The fires of life shed each ember,

Of we who soon become it’s soil.

Where do the cursed go and who will love them,

When they’ve become all we fear?

Who will care to find and hold them?

Who will mourn or shed a tear?

Where do the dead go and who can follow?

Will you go to where they lie?

Will you search the darkest hollow,

To save the lost before they die?

K. Aldaya, 3/1/17

Picture: by: Branimir Jaredic; http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/1-branimir-jaredic.html?tab=artwork; http://www.magazineim.com/home/index.php/collaborators/branimir-jaredic/#7

386. Sandstorm

Sandstorm. Sandstorm.

Sands drift around…

Up in the air,

Then back to the ground.

Sandstorm. Sandstorm.

The wind is your friend…

Pushing you on,

But when does it end?

Sandstorm. Sandstorm.

Sand’s in my lungs.

It’s hard to breathe,

And you’ve just begun.

Sandstorm. Sandstorm.

Grains full of rage.

Can we start over?

Write a new page?

Sandstorm. Sandstorm.

I’ll suffocate!

Hours have passed,

And it’s getting late.

Sandstorm. Sandstorm.

Words propagate.

We can’t start over;

It is too late.

Sandstorm. Sandstorm.

Reach to the door…

Slam it behind you;

That’s what they’re for.

Sandstorm. Sandstorm.

Left in your dust.

Please don’t come back,

I’m starting to rust.

Sandstorm. Sandstorm.

Leave me alone.

My skin is cracking.

I’m turning to bone.

Sandstorm. Sandstorm.

Dusts float your way.

I’m lost in your words.

I’m fading away.

Sandstorm. Sandstorm.

You move away.

Yet now I am dust.

And dust drifts away.

K. Aldaya, 2/22/17

Picture: “Sandhouse Sienna Room” by Cary Wolinsky; http://www.carywolinskyphotographs.com/sandhouse-series#/sandhouse-blue-1-2-1/; https://limeduck.com/feast-for-the-eyes/

385. Forsaken Lullaby

Song Link

The shadows take our dreams away,

And nightmares have come to stay.

If I die before I wake,

Tell God, my soul, to not forsake.

Will you come and find me here,

He’s coming fast. He’s coming near.

Tell him not to steal my skin,

Leaving only bones to live within.

Find me now and chase away,

The nightmares which have come to stay.

If you leave before I wake.

I know, my soul, God will forsake.

K. Aldaya, 2/18/17

382. Insomniac

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11pm, it’s late again.

Time to close your eyes.

No moon in sight to make it light,

Darkness descends and lies.

12am, two hours past ten.

Another day is gone.

You stare at nothing, yet everything,

While deciding which side to rest on.

1am, the hour when…

Your thoughts decide to party:

Dance and drink, and overthink…

Rage and disagree.

2am, you grab a pen,

To silence the noise inside;

Write it out, reread, and doubt…

Which words you should confide.

3am, you drop the pen,

Too tired to think clearly.

There are no words that aren’t cowards,

And cowardice costs dearly.

4am, near dawn again.

The world will soon awake,

And you will stare, lost in despair,

Of the sun you will forsake.

5am, You lie and then…

Fall down deeply into sleep.

Finally at rest, yes, you sleep best,

After you ponder and weep.

K. Aldaya, 1/16/17

Picture:  https://www.walldevil.com/13623-bokeh-books-empty-lights-manmade-night-notebook-pages-wind.html

378. Instant Regret

hands

I really want to trust you.

To let you in…I do.

More than anything I wish I could,

Have the faith you do.

My heart, it is in pieces,

And aches of a bitter kiss.

Yet, I’ve grown so used to the pain…

Sometimes I hardly notice;

Until someone arrives,

With their expectations,

They trust me not for I can’t do the same,

And are angered by my complications.

Trust is earned with time and care,

Both of which you will not give.

Then tell me why should I just trust you,

When you instantly regret what you give?

K. Aldaya, 12/20/16

Picture:  Original Source Unknown; http://now-here-this.timeout.com/2012/07/16/35-reasons-rain-is-better-than-sunshine/

377. Yin and Yang

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I know you think I’m weak,

And those who “feel” are pitiful.

So I’ve often felt like a freak,

For simply being me.

Yet as I’ve grown older,

I’ve become much more aware,

That those whose hearts are colder,

Are much more pitiful.

A life lived on the path.

‘Tween pure bliss and despair,

May be a smoother path;

Though leads the soul nowhere.

Souls grow in sagacity,

Through the beauty and the pain.

Grow stronger on a rougher sea,

Or steep and winding road.

With ups and downs we learn,

What’s truly of worth.

With every dip and turn,

We learn to persevere.

Depth is seen as weakness,

And shallowness as divine.

Society praises emptiness…

As close to godliness.

Those who disagree: “Insane.”

“Their emotions are showing!”

“A symptom of a faulty brain,

Wandering on dangerous paths.”

I don’t care anymore what’s said,

I’d rather struggle and fight,

Ever braver in what lies ahead,

Then to fear being “too much”.

My soul is not a coward,

And my heart and mind fight on.

I do not fear love or discord,

They are borne in equal measure.

K. Aldaya, 12/19/16

Picture: By Mario Wibisono; https://wall.alphacoders.com/unregistered.php?id=624 https://wall.alphacoders.com/big.php?i=152076

376. Baby Piano

Reverberating cries of keys,

Fill me with their piercing refrain.

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Could I have saved you from your fate,

If I’d had a different name?

Your soul weeps out bitterly,

As my ears turn notes to tears;

So I rip away the wooden case,

And it’s flood echoes my fears.

K. Aldaya, 12/3/16

Picture: http://rebloggy.com/post/piano-memories-past-ghost-gothic-within-temptation-sharon-den-adel-alternative-m/58920725479

375. The Noose

Once set into motion life continues unimpeded.

The bond of prophecy self-fulfilled,

Becomes the noose of the defeated.

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You may struggle and the noose grow tighter: restricting breath…

Or calmly hold your hands to the line,

In-between desperation and death.

K. Aldaya, 11/26/16

Picture: Originally Posted on thedeadhasrisin.tumblr.com; http://giphy.com/gifs/sad-boy-depressed-wOKFDNYyjqfBK;

374. Drifting Ghosts

I stand still too afraid to move forward,

For each step taken cuts deep like a sword.

Everything is a mem’ry I’d rather forget;

And each day is yet another spent in regret.

I know I cannot save myself, so I beg for the hand…

Which chokes me into silence yet again.

Which chokes me into silence again.

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I stand and glance across the sun-parched grass,

Spying on the baffling winds as they pass…

A leaf toward my feet..oh, just like the one which flew..

Along the path I used to walk on, and I knew…

It was your lonesome and bitter ghost, haunting me again;

And your presence drags me back there again.

You always drag me back there again.

I stand and wonder, and ponder too long,

On why the winds carry my ghosts along:

Forever drifting about in search when I flee.

I hear their voices echo and cry out to me.

I stand here in front of you with a penetrating smile.

No one cares the ghosts were there all the while.

Ah, my ghosts have been there all the while.

K. Aldaya, 11/2/16

Picture: http://www.lovethispic.com/image/34003/fall-leaves-gif

373. Weeping Willow

Weeping Willow

O’ Weeping Willow, why do you hate the daylight so?

Why do you cry to the sun and hang your head so low?

Do you want us all to feel the same way that you do?

Are you angry with the sun, which dries, then feeds you too?

O’ Weeping Willow, why do you love the darkness so?

Why do you wave and smile at the moon; and let your beauty show?

Do you love the dark because it hides your bitterness?

Does the night conceal your tears within it’s tranquil darkness?

O’ Weeping Willow, why do you exist to feel this way?

Why must you live to suffer so?

Why does it have to be this way?

Do you know where we all go when we turn to dust?

Weeping Willow won’t you cry for me too, when you meet my drifting dust?

K. Aldaya, 10/12/16

Picture: http://indulgy.com/post/cbtCpMSUW1/theclouser; http://indulgy.com/ana–bella/myperfect

372. Timeless Bond

We used to be good friends and confidants,

Yet just like us, youth grows old, tired, and weary;

It changes, grows gray, and wrinkles,

In the sun of the today’s we dearly…

Cling on to.

Remember all those days spent together?

Under warm summer skies we rode bikes to the wind…

Blowing carelessly with our hopes.

Now we can’t go back. We can’t rescind…

Our choices.

Think of me some day when we’re old and gray,

And this fast world no longer pulls us to and fro.

Give me just one small little thought.

Think of when we walked side by side and go…

Fearlessly…

Toward the light…..

K. Aldaya, 9/29/16

371. Inertia

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Nightmares are only reverse dreams,

And ghosts are merely shadows.

Memories are just vivid streams,

Of self-perceptioned scenes.

Dreams are only reverse nightmares,

And shadows are merely ghosts.

Memories are the eyes which stare,

Deep down into our souls.

Phantoms haunt, and memories hurt;

And nightmares destroy dreams….

While time ticks on and on: inert,

To what we tell ourselves.

K. Aldaya, 9/25/16

Picture: Scene Capture from “Pretty Little Liars”; http://www.afterellen.com/tv/209853-pretty-little-liars-recap-4-19-shadow-play/3

370. Reality

cemetery-pictures-002

No matter what I do. Nothing ever changes.

The world changes around me,

While I while away the hours;

And my life becomes a memory,

Of some graveyard in the country.

No matter what choices I make.  I am here.

I cannot change how I feel.

What experience has taught me.

My version of what is real…

If real means anything at all.

No matter what I try to change.  It is.

I cannot save anyone.

We all live, die, and are forgotten.

Does fate exist and pull everyone…

Into that field of gravestones connecting reality?

K. Aldaya, 9/24/16

Picture: Cabot Village Cemetery, Vermont; http://www.cabothistory.com/cabot-s-seven-cemeteries

367. Savage

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I am a savage.

I remember my days in the jungle.

The feel of mud ‘tween my toes.

The rush of adrenaline,

From head to toe.

Blood raging to win.

I am a savage.

I remember my nights under the moon.

The feel of winds blowing over,

The heavy lids of the earth,

Falling to cover.

In death is rebirth.

I am a savage.

I remember my days on the Earth.

The feel of dust and thirst.

The yearning to drink and feast.

Devoured or nursed.

Nothing but a beast.

K. Aldaya, 9/18/16

Picture: Original Source Unknown; http://sscinnovate.blogspot.com/2013/06/review-barefoot-minimalist-and-forefoot.html

366. *R.I.P.*

you-cant-hide-lv

You think you can make excuses,

Laugh off the pain you deal,

Without consequence or reprisal;

Without caring how others feel.

I’m here to tell you, my darling,

Excuses are for narcissists and frauds,

For weak people who can dish it out,

Though can’t handle payback from their gods.

Who will weep and wail at changing winds,

Praying to god, “Do you know who I am?”

I’m so sweet, caring, and kind.

I’m so perfect just as I am!

You can forgive or forget yourself.

Believe you are better then us all.

Yet reality will always say otherwise,

And the pain will remember it all.

Don’t ever think you’re forgiven,

You’ve no right to demand such a deal!

No one can tell another how to live,

Or how much hurt they’re allowed to feel.

No one can live without faults,

But it’s our choice whether to admit this,

To acknowledge all of our faults;

And no matter what we may do wrong,

To learn and grow from our mistakes.

To care and ask forgiveness,

And try to never make those same mistakes.

I’ve never understood this world,

Why men get joy from others’ pain.

I don’t understand why you can’t feel,

Or contemplate just how insane…

This game is….this game of life!

How pointless these cruelties are!

There’s no reason why it should be ok,

For you to create another scar.

So, you may think you are off the hook.

If you ignore the pain caused: it will leave!

I’m here to tell you, “You are wrong”!

Pain lingers, remembers, and grieves…

For eternity.

*R.I.P.*

K. Aldaya, 9/17/16

Picture: https://deadlyeverafter.com/2013/03/23/the-vision-you-didnt-want-asylum-photos/

364. Us

mediavampd

I cannot sleep. I can’t escape,

The prison of my heart.

The warden holds his keys to me,

Yet I can’t run from my heart,

No matter how much it torments me.

I cannot rest. I dream of you.

My soul’s afflicted by your voice.

Your presence punishes my flesh.

Ah, the warden knows there is no choice…

All men are prisoners of the flesh.

I cannot leave. I can’t escape,

These walls of blood and flesh.

The world is built upon our cells,

Of passion and distress.

For there are no heavens or hells…

Only us.

K. Aldaya, 9/1/16

Picture: from Vampire Diaries; http://www.melty.es/the-originals/photos/

363. Duplicity

Said with painfully deceptive truth,

You fain warmth to perfection.

You lay your coat o’er the mud of inflection,

And savor the words in proof,

Of your humanity.

Gallantly you stand your ground,

Enticing the virtuous of heart,

To firstly step forth and depart,

Wrapping their honor around…

Your covetous finger.

Wringing your hands you step out,

Upon decency’s palpable spine,

And crush the bones of affection in line.

Expectation of reciprocity beyond doubt,

Cloaks the duplicitous heart.

K. Aldaya, 8/29/16

361. The Mansion

There’s a mansion far away in a land of fabled form,

Where time holds no sway, and the clocks are still and worn.

Within it’s walls are halls of doors leading to secret rooms,

While a dark shadow patrols the floors spreading an air of gloom.

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Locked behind the doors there-in dwell feelings unexpressed;

Colored by established sin and furnished by the repressed.

One door is but a tiny speck within the stone foundation,

Of a house made of lies and brick, and stoic invalidation;

Where a girl forever smiles on in eternal denial,

Of the home her world is built upon, where she serves tea with a smile.

She serves truth upon a tray for people to consume….

The hours of her life away ’til she’s only what they assume.

Down below and through the door another door stands locked…

By the shadow on the floor of those halls forever stalked.

Behind: A glass interior exalts the ancient realm,

Of the forest nymphs of yore, and the tall majestic elm.

Days pass by for her who dwells under care of sun and moon,

And chants their protective spells…dancing ‘neath the light of the moon.

There she sits and beseeches the blackness gliding by,

Through a gap in the door she reaches, she simply must know, “Why”?

And each time the shadow swings by with his knife dripping with pain,

And cuts off her hand like a fly…being swatted: annoying; inane.

Then under the moon she stitches her hand back into place,

And weeps for those whose stitches only leave scars in their place.

Down the hall much further a door all pink and sweet,

Opens to toys which reconnoiter every pleasant childhood treat.

A girl sits with her toys playing without a care,

Avoiding the sneer of some toys toward a wall with a curtain hung there;

A curtain which opens once a day, as the shadow passes on through,

And each time she looks up to say,”That girl is not someone I knew!”

Then she continues her tale, imagining a world far away,

Where princesses under assail are rescued by knights straight away.

Beyond and through that mirror a gray room of concrete,

Chills and emits terror from the head, down to one’s feet.

A girl sits in the darkness in the corner with her bunny,

Begging for forgiveness, which the shadow just finds funny;

As he enters there freely, and screams echo pains.

Innocence costs dearly and blood always leaves stains.

The last door in the hallway is reinforced with steel.

Locked with a code each day. Yet, anger one cannot seal!

Anger builds to violent rage. Justice shall be avenged!

There is no door or cage which can restrain the unhinged.

She always finds a way out, that girl whose only goal,

Is to be ready beyond a doubt to put the demon back in his hole.

–The battle for eternal life,

For sanity or hell,

Is always fraught with pain and strife,

But, shh, be sure not to tell!

No one cares if someone claims,

Another’s soul as their domain,

And endlessly tortures and maims,

Until it drives them insane.

For the war is fought behind walls,

Built of blood and flesh,

And the shadow haunting the halls,

From the yesterdays men refresh.

Once a thief steals in,

Can one replace what’s gone?

Is everything replaceable,

After the deed is done?

Hearts beat within their separate walls,

Crying bloody tears,

Which stain the myriad halls,

Of minds o’erwrought with fears.

Insanity, it is a place,

And once you enter in,

Your’self’ is lost without a trace.

Cut apart, with a lively grin,

Into fragments with one face.

K. Aldaya, 8/12/16

Picture: Created by Whipper on Alpha Coders; https://wall.alphacoders.com/big.php?i=304198

359. Vertigo

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“This circle of existence keeps going ’round and ’round,

And I’m tired of this spinning,” she said with a frown.

“It’s hard to keep my feet steady and faced to where I’m going,

When vertigo’s a state of mind and there’s no way of knowing…

If the whirlwind can be contained,

And how long the spin will last;

Though as it’s oft’ been said before, “Children, the die is cast!”.”

The Earth keeps on circling: ’round and ’round we go,

And heads keep on tripping o’er questions no one can know;

‘Til men fall to the floor unable to take a stand,

Against the flow of existence’s every command…

As answers always lead men,

Back to the same place.

No one can stop the cell-bound vertigo of the human race.

“This circle of existence keeps going ’round and ’round,

And I’m tired of this spinning,” he said with a frown.

“If only I could take a stand in this life of mine.

If only I had some control over life and time…

To change what is and was…

To end this suffering;

Though hasn’t every man before me longed for the same thing?”

—As the world keeps on spinning…

K. Aldaya, 7/3/16

Picture:  http://giphy.com/gifs/space-night-earth-p69not0nbwli0

358. If Time Were…

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If time were a butterfly,

Could I reach into the sky,

And catch it in my hands,

So time would never fly?

If time were a pirate’s ship,

Thieving our hours away,

Could I raise a mutiny,

So we all could have a say?

If time were a human being,

Could I take their hand,

So we could stay together,

Forever, hand-in-hand?

Time is not a butterfly,

Nor human soul or ship,

Yet I can’t help but wonder why,

The time must always slip…

As the hands on the clock wave us goodbye.

K. Aldaya, 6/30/16

Picture: Originally posted on blessotherwomen; https://www.pinterest.com/pin/303711568592843666/

357. Sleep

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You always sleep when I cry,

And one day you will when I lie…

in a coffin: the bed of the cursed.

Remember you shunned my pain first!

You always ignore when I bleed,

And don’t bother to stop and take heed.

Blades listen much sharper than you.

Isn’t blood now on your hands too?

You always disregard my words…

They drift onto paper like cowards;

Afraid to take to the air,

And be blown away without a care.

You always sleep when I cry,

And one day when I up and die.

Remember I told you I would.

Living: Tell me why I should!

K. Aldaya, 6/15/16

Picture: Originally posted by Doreese on Tumblr; http://favim.com/image/47601/

356. Fireflies

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Fireflies fill the night skies.

The wind is warm and light.

I stand alone beneath the stars,

This peaceful June night,

And wonder if stars are really,

The souls of ancient beings,

Who look upon the plight of man,

As a show with histrionic scenes.

In the expanse of time and space,

The lives of earthly men,

Must seem so trivial to a star,

Who’s seen from now to then.

Will stars recall when we looked up,

And stared into their gaze?

Will they remember who we were?

Will they remember us always?

Do we remember the fireflies,

Which danced before our eyes?

On summer nights while time passed by,

Did they gaze into our eyes?

Do not forget those fireflies,

Though trivial they may seem,

In the many nights of our lives,

They come and go like a dream.

Yet, if we don’t remember them,

Or moments while we live,

Who could hope for the stars to gaze back,

And watch us while we live?

And recall when our time runs out,

The beauty of existence.

How each life’s spark was beautiful,

In these skies of happenstance,

Where we all danced for awhile.

K. Aldaya, 6/9/16

Picture: By Steed Yu for National Geographic; http://photography.nationalgeographic.com/photography/photo-of-the-day/fireflies-stars-night/

355. Political Reform

Where are the hands which hold you here?

Which hold you to this land,

Of scorching concrete,

And vulgar deceit?

Where gavels scream every command,

Of the political elite.

Where are the hands which hold you back?

Which hold you in embrace?

The hands which act,

To make an impact,

Before time is lost without a trace?

Toward death the odds are stacked.

Where are the hands which hold you near?

Which hold your worth skin-tight?

Hands fall to find,

The world is unkind.

Countless die from depression’s heights,

Waiting for laws to be signed….

………..Waiting for a hand to hold.

K. Aldaya, 6/4/16

354. Stuck in Time

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Time blows around me;

Stuck in place, I feel it pass me,

And sings it’s haunted lullaby,

Of what will never be.

I watch the time and people pass;

They wave as they walk right past.

For a moment we knew each other,

And then that moment became the past.

I stand in place and wave goodbye,

And wish them all the best and try…

To be happy they are moving on;

Though secretly I want to cry.

No one stays and no one should.

I’m lost to time and no one could,

Stay here long without a cost,

And there’s no reason why they would.

Time drift’s on and passes me,

Along with everyone I see.

Is anyone else left behind,

To make the time less lonely?

-Time blows around me.

Stuck in place I feel it pass me,

And sings it’s haunted lullaby,

Of what will never be.

K. Aldaya, 5/14/16

Picture: Originally posted on http://icanfeelyourheart.tumblr.com/; http://favim.com/image/82741/

353. Puppet Heart

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It reminds me that I’m not loved for me…

I’m loved for what I do;

When I don’t do what’s expected,

(As all those other people do),

I’m swiftly rejected.

No words are needed to remind me that,

My mind’s not important to you.

As long as my body does it’s work,

You’ll treat me as a human too.

I’m nothing but a piece of work.

Even my mind can’t stand for this,

And is gone most of the time.

How is it I don’t have a say,

In controlling what is mine?

So it oft’ seems best just to stay away.

I have to earn my place in your heart,

I’m not enough just being me.

If I didn’t do what I’m supposed to,

Would you ever be able to love me?

Love comes with strings attached.

K. Aldaya, 5/13/16

Picture: By Rosie Hardy on Flickr; http://weheartit.com/entry/group/467124

352. Random Thought #17

I could sit for hours in this spot,

Just staring at the wall;

And I sometimes wish I could do just that,

Without any guilt at all.

Yet, I feel guilty for my absence;

For not being enough…

For letting my mind escape for awhile,

When times get tough.

So I fight against the emptiness,

And fight against the pain,

When I know it’s only a matter of time,

And it’s sure to end the same.

If one day I don’t make it back.

Please promise me you’ll try,

To still come visit, and hold my hand,

A few times before I die.

K. Aldaya, 5/11/16

351. Victims of the Sun

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Near and yet so far away,

The pangs of love cut through.

We are only victims of the day;

Of the sun which reaches through,

And sets our hearts on fire.

Hearts rage in the blazing heat,

Pulsing with fresh desires.

Will we able to stop our feet,

From burning in these fires?

When hearts so oft’ rouse our feet?

Near and yet so very far.

Hearts smolder in the sun.

We turn away as our insides char,

For we’ve no choice but to shun,

What will only leave a scar.

K. Aldaya, 5/10/16

Picture:  Original Source Unknown; http://divinetrinitytarot.tumblr.com/post/135661808106/happy-summer-solstice-to-my-followers-in-the

350. Murderer!

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You asked me what I want from you,

I’m happy to oblige.

I simply want my soul which you…

Massacred!

You laugh, for you know you can’t bring,

Anything back from death;

Because once you murder something…

It is gone.

You know you can’t change what you’ve done,

And what you never did.

You walk headfirst into the sun…

Blindly on.

Why did you always walk on by,

While I bled under your feet?

You knew my soul was going to die…

And let it.

So, don’t ask me what I want.

You know it is no use.

My soul left long ago to haunt…

Your conscience.

I want my soul back! Give it back!!

I’m hollow bones and skin!

Why did you let me slowly die….

In your sin?

K. Aldaya, 4/25/16

Picture:  http://favim.com/image/35911/

349. Where You Are

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If I climbed the tallest mountain,

Would I ever reach your heart?

Can I follow you to where you are,

Where we’ll never be apart?

If I traveled to the stars,

And found the universe;

Could I find space next to you,

And within your soul immerse?

If I found the answers,

To meaning and existence,

Would our destinies be one strand,

Of time’s web, rich and immense?

If I can’t climb that mountain,

Or search the twinkling heavens;

Or if I cannot give you,

The peace vast knowledge sends…

Will you remember that I existed,

If I can’t reach where you are?

Will you care that I had reached for you,

And traveled long and far?

Will you think of me sometimes?

K. Aldaya, 4/20/16

Picture: Uploaded by Helena888 on Favim; http://favim.com/image/3729332/

348. Drowning on the Surface

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How is it the more I speak,

The more I feel misunderstood?

What’s the point of speaking,

When it never does me any good?

Why do I even bother,

What can be said or done?

No one wants deep relationships,

And I’m tired of every shallow one.

I have no energy to waste,

On trivial conversations.

There’s no worth for me in social conventions.

I’d rather dwell on inner contemplations.

I wish I didn’t have to speak,

When there’s no point to anyway.

No one listens or understands,

Or cares to try as they may…

To know another soul,

And connect beyond the skin.

It hurts too much to try again,

Just to drown once more in the skin.

K. Aldaya, 4/14/16

Picture: Photo from Google; Originally from Video: http://www.shutterstock.com/video/clip-9892391-stock-footage-lonely-girl-at-rain-looks-at-dirty-forest-pond-worried-girl-sitting-with-hands-over-head-stares-to.html

345. Beware!

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There dwells a righteous anger,

In the heart of every poet.

Let no man make a wager,

That will lead him to his fall.

Deep souls are a danger!

Be careful, dare the words ye read,

Become thy epitaph,

Above an early grave which reads:

“Oh dear, ye fell too deep…

Thy former self concedes.”

Pray to God on bended knees,

That the depth and violence of the waves,

Will not drag ye down into the seas,

Or the melody of the siren’s song:

Enchant, and thy soul seize.

Make thy choice and sail on,

Or to the land lay claim.

We all must choose to journey on.

Explore or stay the path.

Live life before it’s gone.

Ah, the poet will ever sail,

On a sea of righteous anger;

Searching for another tale,

Of the ocean’s phantom depths,

And lost souls at sea which wail…

To be heard and live again,

And the waters open wide,

Revealing the restless pen,

Which writes upon the weary bones,

Of the Ancient Mariner’s men.

Beware the depths, young sailor!

Many have sailed these seas,

Only to find themselves on the shore,

Of their own mortality…

Enraged forevermore!

For there dwells a righteous anger,

In the heart of every poet.

Let no man make a wager,

That will lead him to his fall.

Deep souls are a danger!

K. Aldaya, 4/6/16

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; Posted by Fujiibear 2/3/2015 on Fasttech; https://www.fasttech.com/forums/off-topic/t/1271251/gifs/93

344. Random Thought #16

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The graveyards remind me how far up I’ve come.

The headstones behind me: what years have become.

I still feel at home though can live beyond it.

My old catacomb now ‘lone…remains moonlit.

I hear the depths echo endless implores to return,

But not yet…not yet.

I’m here for you.  I won’t leave you now.

I’ve avowed to be with you.  My soul to endow,

To loving and staying…living on somehow.

I waited many a night next to the crypt,

That shadowed the light from dawns’ cup a-tipped.

Pouring jagged rays: sharp to cut through,

I turned back a-ways to solus I was used to;

And now I hear the depths echo endless implores to return,

But not yet…not yet.

K. Aldaya, ’05

Picture:  From Phantom of the Opera; http://fallenfay-l-h.tumblr.com/post/112922767865

343. Ghosts Are Some of My Best Friends

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Ghosts are some of my best friends,

Though I’m not sure they want to be;

I certainly don’t care for their games,

Or their endless mockery.

They follow whispering in my ears:

“Restore my sanity!”

Ghosts are some of my best friends,

They’re the best at hide and seek.

No matter where I run and hide,

They always manage to silently sneak,

And scare me half to death…

Yep, winning’s always bleak.

Ghosts are some of my best friends,

Though I really wish they’d leave.

I listen to their moans and cries,

Hoping they will grant reprieve,

And scurry off to heaven or such…

Yet nope, they never really leave.

Ghosts are some of my best friends,

They make me want to die.

Would they disappear if I drown myself,

Or is that just a lie?

Are the ghosts still part of me,

Or will they never die?

Ghosts are some of my best friends,

Though I don’t want them to be.

I worry they have found new life,

In the echoes of eternity,

And fear at death they’ll hold me, screaming:

“Where’s our sanity!!”

K. Aldaya, 4/4/16

Picture: Originally posted on Tumblr; http://weheartit.com/entry/group/11322498#

342. In Dreams

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I dreamt about you last night,

So I didn’t want to wake,

To the first rays of the morning sun;

My eyes they could not shake,

And open to the dawn.

Why do you visit me in sleep?

Is there something you must say?

I don’t mind if you say nothing,

If you will only stay…

With me, ’til I wake.

How long have I sat alone,

In this house: aged and empty?

Longing for footsteps which prelude,

The presence of your company…

Within my heart.

I dreamt about you last night.

You sat down by my side,

And as we exchanged looks and pleasantries,

I couldn’t help feel an ache inside,

For the dreams which must always end.

K. Aldaya, 4/2/16

Picture: From Heartstrings kdrama; Uploaded by Toksuri on Tumblr; http://toksuri.tumblr.com/post/71207903971/love-backhug-moments

341. The War for Survival

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The skies have grown black near the sea this eve.

Even the ocean, muddied, is fit to receive…

The death with follows the tornadoes of war,

Which spread from the shorefront to the steps of each door.

Waves crash and sting the eyes of the weary,

Who stroll through the streets as ghosts: silent and eerie.

Bodies float away and one man with a clipboard,

Counts each one seen with his pen like a sword.

The shelters are gone. There is nowhere to run,

And each man carries his own personal gun;

To fight back the tide of inevitable gloom.

Yet how many bullets will save even one from their doom?

The world is awash with an ocean of change,

Which washes all men and turns them deranged.

They bury the dead in mass graves without markers,

Then walk off with the smiles which living desires.

For who can keep walking on the bones of the fallen,

Without falling too deep into the sickness of men?…

Who have fallen before us begging for mercy;

And died at the gunpoint of their own misery.

The masses walk on with guns in both hands.

There’s no time for thinking. No time to make plans.

Is this war really worth it?…The bodies and the blood,

Of all the life of this planet buried in the mud?

The war continues…there’s no more to be said.

Shoot down your brother so you don’t end up dead.

Yet how will you save your soul from your sins.

For when your body soon rots the real fight begins.

K. Aldaya, 3/15/16

Picture: Originally posted by Gloomy Rules on Tumblr; http://giphy.com/gifs/shark-attack-ocean-storm-thunder-gifs-dOCG720yNqAms

 

 

339. Down the Rabbit Hole

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Down the tunnel you go.

Do you really want to see what’s at the end?

Be careful what you wish for,

For it may well be forever, my friend.

Do you really want to know,

How deep the tunnel goes?

Must your really slide into it,

To find out where it goes?

The tunnel may lead to Nirvana,

Or possibly to Hell.

I’m not sure I care for either destination,

Yet for you I will hope it ends well.

Down the tunnel you go.

Must you really know what’s at the end?

Eternity’s never-ending you know!

I will miss you forever, my friend.

K. Aldaya, 3/14/16

Picture: Posted on Tumblr by goyoungfree; http://goyoungfree.tumblr.com/post/70635205534/babe-take-me-to-wonderland

338. Random Thought #14

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Today she’s so happy she just can’t describe it.

Life seems so perfect, …yet just doesn’t fit.

She comes home and looks into the mirror-land.

She’s happy and knows it, but the shadows are still at hand.

Backward through time she floats on her own,

To the home she’s outrun, where the ghosts are her own.

The walls are closing in, all around, and within.

She can’t escape from herself…

So she breaks the mirror.

K. Aldaya, ’05

Picture: Originally posted by http://zoombies-ate-my-neighbors.tumblr.com/; http://favim.com/image/2281637/

337. Just So You Know

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Just so you know, my life matters too.

I may not be rich or know high people,

Yet I think I should have the chance to do,

Whatever I want to.

Just so you know, my life matters as well.

I may not have some great job or position,

Yet I think I should have the chance to tell…

You, to go to hell.

Just so you know my life matters also.

I may not be like or think like you,

Yet I’m not going to kowtow.

You’re not my king you know!

Just so you know, my life matters too.

I may be poor and no one special,

Yet I want to be someone who,

Gets to live life too.

K. Aldaya, 3/9/16

Picture: Street Art on Twitter; https://twitter.com/googlestreetart/status/573476917074116608

335. Random Thought #13

haunted path

You told me to say goodbye to yesterday.

You told me it’s just a ghost that haunts my way,

And today I saw it walk across my street;

And today it’s presence reminded me,

That we can’t run from where we’ve come,

Without growing, in the knowing, of what’s been done.

I see you…the ghost of yesterday…

K. Aldaya, ’05

Picture: Uploaded by BonnieBleuVa on Photobucket; http://s217.photobucket.com/user/BonnieBleuVa/media/My%20photos/1spookywoods12936969-lg.png.html

334. Night Dreams

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The foggy night is cool and glistens,

With the rains of yesterday,

And I find myself saddened again,

By the loneliness of it’s gray.

Yet, I know this is my hour of choice.

The peaceful and tranquil hour,

When most humans are found fast asleep,

And I feel most safe within my tower…

To look out into the universe,

And wish upon a star or moon,

For their beauty to become an eternal song,

So I may forever hum out their tune.

I long to stay and sing out,

Into the silence of eternity;

Though it makes me sad to be alone,

It’s far better with no company.

The stars will hear and twinkle bright,

And the moon will brightly beam.

No matter how dark and lonely the night,

It still can feel like a dream.

I’ve yet to meet one human being,

Who cares to hear my song or voice;

Instead my voice is ripped from me,

And the soul is left no choice…

It runs away and hides behind,

Cordialities and facades.

The body lingers devoid of life,

At the edge of gambled-odds.

There is no dream unbroken by,

The realities of humankind.

Will we ever be safe in each other’s arms,

Or truly understand another’s mind?

Until that day or maybe never,

I will hope and dream at night.

Alone I will sing to the distant moon,

And when tears fall they’ll express the flight,

Of my soul into the skies.

K. Aldaya, 2/25/16

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.playbuzz.com/shira10/22-unbelievable-facts-about-the-human-body-that-will-blow-your-mind