457. Unconnected

You talk to me and I listen.

You smile,…yet I feel sad.

I talk, and you don’t hear a thing;

The connection’s always bad.

You look at me, and I at you.

You move, and I stand still.

I see you, yet you don’t see me;

And I fear you never will.

K. Aldaya, 10/23/18

Picture: https://www.shutterstock.com/video/clip-28677217-phone-receiver-hanging-off-hook-public-box

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456. *Static*

*Static*……………………………….”Hello?”

“She’s not here.”………………”Not here?”

“She’s missing.”………………..”But where?”

“In the basement.”…………..”But why?”

*Sobs*………………………………..”Don’t cry.”

“They left her.”…………………”Who did?”

“Everyone.”……………………….*Static*

K. Aldaya, 10/2/18

Gif: https://giphy.com/gifs/noise-static-nihilminus-3o85xuOopcjqT2AgzC

455. Hidden

There are passions hidden inside,

In chests locked and dusty.

I wish I didn’t have to hide,

All the best parts of me.

It’s not as if I chose to leave,

Parts of my heart behind.

It’s not as if I didn’t grieve,

And fight back with my mind.

My passions were taken from me,

By life’s consequences.

I can’t fix what’s happened to me,

Or live in ‘past tense’s’.

If I could make a net to cast,

Into the sea of thought.

I’d ne’er have let them swim on past;

Yet, it is all for naught!

I can not fix my skittish brain.

There is no pill or cure;

Though I wish I were not insane,

‘Want’ won’t make it occur.

I opened up the chest last night,

In dreams, I came to life.

I sang and it was all alright,…

Then wept for my lost life.

No one will ever know the me,…

The me which could have been;

She had passions you’ll never see,

But some dreams can’t happen.

There are passions hidden inside,

In chests locked and dusty,

And if I may, I’d like to confide,

That sometimes I will take the key,

And open them up for a time.

K. Aldaya, 8/27/18

Picture: https://pixabay.com/en/key-open-castle-close-close-up-1422806/

454. A-part

I float away…all day…everyday.

I drift away…never stay…never stay…

The same.

I am me…”I agree”…”I agree”…

Yet,…”I disagree…I’m not free to be me…

Fully”.

I want to do…what I want to…see it through;

But, I can not do what I want to…plans fall through…

The cracks.

I am there…everywhere…and no where.

I float in the air of time in despair…neither here nor there…

A piece.

I’m only ever part of me…one me…not every me.

I always find I disagree…with me…and me…and me…

In part.

I can not stay…this way…or that way.

I drift away…never stay…never stay…

The same.

K. Aldaya, 8/12/18

Picture: Original Source Unknown; https://www.thecounsellorscafe.co.uk/single-post/2016/12/31/What-does-your-online-presence-say-about-you

453. Dust Yourself Off

I hate when you treat me nicely.

I hate when I start to believe.

I hate that I set myself up again,

To question reality.

I hate that you’re not a monster.

I hate that I can’t run away.

I hate that I will walk closer to you,

And put myself in danger.

I hate that life’s not black or white.

I hate that I do not hate you.

I hate that nothing is ever simple,

And that none of this feels right.

I hate that I can not trust you.

I hate that to trust is a trap.

I hate that I try, and hate that I care,

When I really don’t want to.

I hate that you don’t really care.

I hate that it’s all a mirage.

I hate that I always hate myself more,

When again you leave me there…

…in your dust.

K. Aldaya, 8/11/18

Picture: https://pixabay.com/en/iraq-sandstorm-weather-man-80329/

452. My Heart is Where You Are

I hear your voice call out to me,

For where you are, is where I’ll be.

No matter how near or how far,

My heart is where you are.

I see your face in all my dreams,

For time is never what it seems.

No matter what the hour may be,

Your smile is what I’ll see.

I feel the warmth of your embrace,

For your taction makes my heart race.

No matter how the wind’s may chill,

Your life will warm me still.

I sense your soul, it’s always there.

You’re in my heart and everywhere.

No matter what occurs tomorrow,

Where you are…I will go.

I hear your voice call out to me,

For where you are, is where I’ll be.

No matter how near or how far,

My heart is where you are.

K. Aldaya, 8/10/18

Picture: https://pixabay.com/en/balloon-heart-love-romance-sky-1046658/

451. Freak of Nature

You look at me like I’m a wall…about to crumble.

You step back…once…twice…always,

Then turn away while I rumble…

And fall to pieces.

You look at me like I’m a dam…about to rupture;

Then you tell me to be strong,

As you gossip ’bout my structure…

And I flood and drown.

You look at me like I’m a storm…about to transpire.

You run as far as you can;

And as my footing becomes dire…

I up and vanish.

Yes, I’m the freak of nature everyone passes by.

I tumbled down. I sank beneath. I blew into the sky.

No, No one ever said: “closer”…

They just waved goodbye.

K. Aldaya, 8/1/18

Picture: https://pixabay.com/en/alone-walking-night-people-city-764926/

450. Villains

In the story of my life,

You are the villains;

The plotters. The schemers. The bringers of strife.

You praise your heroism,

In dealing with me,

While pointing out flaws and enacting schisms.

You would only have loved me,

If I’d have earned it;

For you praise the motto: “Nothing is for free”.

You hold out expectant hands,

Awaiting some gold.

Oh, how is it not one of you understands?

I shouldn’t need earn the right,

To be loved like you.

Existing does not need a permit you write.

I’m sure you’d act shocked to find,

You’re drowning in sins.

Yet, of course you will all pay no nevermind.

After all, you are the villains.

K. Aldaya, 7/13/18

Picture: https://www.pexels.com/photo/attractive-beautiful-beauty-black-and-white-594421/

449. I Say Too Much. I Say Too Little.

loud

I say too much.

I say too little.

I never say what’s right;

Walking the line with all my might.

I say too little.

I say too much.

I never say enough;

Acting as strong and playing tough.

I say too much.

I say too little.

I never say what’s heard.

Truth is oft’ an offensive word.

I say too little.

I say too much.

I never say what’s good;

Hiding ‘neath social-conduct’s hood.

I say too much.

I say too little.

I never say what’s apt;

‘Tween truth and lies, I am trapped.

I say too little.

I say too much.

I never say my piece,

For if I speak my pains’ increase.

I say too much.

I say too little.

I never say what’s right.

Loud or silent, I climb the height…

To the middle……………………………………………..of nowhere.

K. Aldaya, 7/11/18

Picture: http://sturgispubliclibrary.blogspot.com/2018/03/toddler-story-time-loud-and-quiet.html

448. Replicant

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I didn’t want to be someone,

I hardly recognize,

Yet pain, it changes everyone…

In time.

Every day I am further from,

The soul I used to be;

Closer to who I have to be…

To survive.

The tragedy of life is that,

Time changes everyone,

And one day when we look in the mirror we don’t recognize…

Anyone.

So here I am: A replicant,

Of who I used to be.

I want to live, but yet I can’t;

So I live on, not as me,…

But as you.

K. Aldaya, 7/6/18

Replicant

Picture: Alicia Vikander in Ex Machina; http://exmachina-movie.com/

 

447. Much Too High a Cost?

keep-your-coins-i-want-change__880

If I am but a beggar,

And no one will grant me coin,

Am I lost?

Is living, much too high a cost?

If I don’t have the answers,

And no one else does either,

Am I lost?

Is living, much too high a cost?

If I can not find the way,

And there are no directions,

Am I lost?

Is living, much too high a cost?

If I can not find myself,

And no one else will seek me,

Am I lost?

Is living, much too high a cost?

If I can not save myself,

And no one else can save me,

Am I lost?

Tell me do some lives, have much too high a cost?

K. Aldaya, 6/27/18

Picture: By Banksy; https://www.boredpanda.com/social-issues-street-art-bansky-london/

446. Beyond Reach

flower-reaching-beauty-pink-hand-trees-nature-beautiful-relaxing-welness-feng-shui-wallpaper-galleries

I wonder if ’twere better to be blind?

For we see beauty ne’er to be touched,

And human souls ne’er to be reached.

Why?….Oh why, is existence so unkind?

To grant us sight of what will not be.

To pull back what dangles before us;

As we reach with all of our might.

I wonder if ’twere better not to see,

That which is beyond our reach?

K. Aldaya, 6/22/18

Picture: Posted by Odette Baudouin on wpnature.com; http://wpnature.com/reaching-beauty-pink-hand-trees-nature-flower-beautiful-relaxing-welness-feng-shui-computer-desktop-wallpaper/

445. If I’d Have Had Your Love

I’d have been a good daughter,

If I’d have had your love.

I’d have done anything for you,

If I’d have had your love.

I could have endured anything,

If I’d have had your love.

It all would have been okay,

If I’d have had your love.

If I’d have had your love…

…It would have been enough.

K. Aldaya, 6/17/18

444. Embrace

ws_Woman_Red_Hair_Dress_Rose_Tree_1920x1200

I climb onto the highest branch,

As the winds caress the leaves.

All about the forest,

The fairies sit on eaves,…

Humming, as they rest.

The sky is filled up to the brim,

With loose clouds swimming about,

That with delighted care,

Will soften themselves out,

To drift into the air.

I sit on the branch as the wind,

Soothes and permeates beneath,

The hard shell carried ’bout,

As a protective sheath,

From other forms about.

They do not understand me wind.

They don’t discern you either.

Why you love to wander:

To feel, and to occur,…

Within life…and yonder.

To the very ends of the world,

And to the depths of the soul.

To feel more than mere words,

Could e’er hope to extol,

In the aria’s of birds.

I am not afraid of the wind,

Which penetrates through the skin.

Yet, I fear humankind,

For what they do to skin,

To rape the soul and mind.

I climb onto the highest branch,

As the winds pass through with ease.

Close my eyes and breathe-in,

That gentle summer breeze,

Which embraces within…

For a moment……………………and forever.

K. Aldaya, 6/16/18

Picture: https://wallpaperstock.net/woman-red-hair-dress-rose-tree-wallpapers_w41750.html

443. Wolves

Cover your ears, and close your heart.

Don’t listen to their lies.

They are wolves in sheep’s clothing,

Waiting for the next sheep that dies.

For have you never noticed,

That those who mess with your brain,

Are the very one’s who’ll prosper the most,

When you’ve finally gone insane?

Cover your ears, and open your eyes.

Trust no one with a grin,

Who blames you for their own words,

And shames you for their sin.

For have you never noticed,

How much it hurts your brain?

To try and make sense of it all.

(Wolf:) “It makes no sense, because you’re insane!”

K. Aldaya, 6/12/18

442. Into the Sea

Once upon a time there were two men born out at sea,

And though began on different ships; Each stared down their destiny.

As sailors are want to do, by time, or just sore luck,

They fell into the churning sea when a raging storm had struck.

They both knew of the Isle nearby. All the sailors knew it well.

The Isle where they were headed, ‘fore their ships sank ‘neath the swell.

The Isle was where wealthy men built mansions out of gold,

And lived in luxury and peace; Ah, truly a sight to behold!

If only they could reach that place. They knew life would be grand.

They looked at the stars that night, and oriented themselves toward land.

One man had a mile to swim. The other: nine miles more;

Though both set off with conviction, to live and reach that shore.

The first man soon made it there, and lived until old age.

He wrote books, and sculpted art; And his story is now ‘all the rage’.

The second man: he drowned at sea, less than a mile from shore.

He’d fought hard and long for those nine miles,…likely harder then any man before.

Yet sailors tell his morose tale over drinks and platitudes;

Laughing at his misfortune with disparaging attitudes.

“What’s the meaning of success? What does it mean to fail?”,

One man asked as he sat down to converse o’er another round of ale.

“You may say the first man is clearly the success.

For he made it to the Isle, and lived in grandeur and excess.

Yet, the first man only swam one mile….so is success really the case?

Is success the result of outcomes, or is it more about the race?

For I wonder why the second man, who swam for eight miles more,

And didn’t give up for those nine miles, is a failure for not reaching shore?

He may have never reached the Isle. He may have died too young.

Howe’er he lived and fought far longer, then that man on societies’ tongue.

The man who swam the further…who fought until his last,…

Is he not the man who succeeded the most?

For in the end, all men’s ‘die are cast’…

Into the sea.”

K. Aldaya, 6/9/18

Picture: Artist:? http://picturefordesktop.com/stormy-sea-images-desktop-wallpaper/

441. PTSD

The world is so busying telling me,

How I should feel and who I should be,

That it’s never, even once, stopped to think,

Whether I’m not exactly who I’m meant to be.

Maybe I will never be like you.

Maybe I’m not supposed to.

Maybe asking me to be something else,

Is the reason I can’t get through.

Maybe I would be okay,

If the world accepted what’s different.

Though, no matter how accepting it claims to be,

Some of us leave too much of an imprint.

We make a mess. Stand out too much.

Cops trail us and build up a case.

“It’s odd you were at the crime scene,

Even odder that your prints were all over the place!

Guilty by association, my child.

You’re guilty for showing-up: time and again.

You’re a victim, but perhaps an accomplice as well.

Did you not know it would drive you insane?

Now you are just as responsible.

Only criminals return to the crime!

You could have been normal…like us,

Instead, you’ve wasted this courts precious time.”

Yet, if we may speak to this court, sir.

We feel guilty and shameful each day,…

That we haven’t moved on…couldn’t move on…

And fell down, and apart, and astray.

We didn’t know how. We still don’t know now,

How to escape from that place,

Though if we could one day do so,

As you’ve stated, we’ve already left our trace;

A trace of guilt. A trace of our crimes,…

Of guilt by association.

No matter what we may say to these crimes,

The world will ne’er forgive the implication.

The implication that we are criminals.

That not being like you. Not living like you,

Is a bloody-bed of our own making;

For there’s only acceptance for crimes you live through,

But ones which stay, fester, and remain,

Which turn us wretched, and drive us insane,

Are the ones which society won’t accept.

And refuse to consider,…o’erlooking the brain.

Yes, the world is so busy telling me,

How I should feel and who I should be,

Yet has it ever wondered why we’re not free,

To be who life has made us to be?

No, I am not like you or them,

And no, I will never be in the end;

Though just because I am different,

Must I be rejected ’til the end?

Placed up on trial again, and again to defend…

Why I am the way I am?

I’m a lifetime of sounds and sights you can’t see.

Yet, men like to spurn what they don’t understand,

And charge for the crime of PTSD.

K. Aldaya, 5/23/18

440. Presence

We reach out for purpose,

Cutting through time like a knife.

Surveying each step with elation,

As if God’s creating life.

Are we more than rotting thoughts,

And orbiting electrons in atoms?

If I stand still or take one more step,

Will it really change any outcomes?

I want to believe in more than this.

In more than my petty musings.

Yet, despite my wish for my words to remain,

I can’t cease their death by refusing.

If I write, or walk, or take a step,

Or if I choose to protest.

There will still be something there to lose,

Whether idle or over-obsessed.

So, I reach out for purpose,

Whether it cuts me in it’s course;

For despite my ruminations,

Presence is an unstoppable force.

K. Aldaya, 5/22/18

Picture: Original Source Unknown; http://keywordsuggest.org/gallery/129704.html

439. Lost

I’m lost inside.

Won’t someone find me?

In the echoes of time,

I wander in effigy,

Of who I was long before,…

The hallways shifted;

And I was ne’er able to find,

One crack through which light sifted.

I’m here looking,

For some way to escape fate.

Is anyone searching? Has anyone noticed,…

That the hour has become late?

And I have not been there with you.

My eyes, they make no sound,

Yet if you’d have truly looked at me,

You’d have seen I’m not around.

For whispers resound through the tears and years:

“I am still not found”.

K. Aldaya, 5/2/18

Picture: http://sfwallpaper.com/image-post/7520-lonely-images-14.jpg.html

438. Doppelganger

I didn’t recognize you. I didn’t want to know,

The secrets and the truths held,

Deep within your eyes…and although,

I see you near to me. I’m afraid to glance your way.

For how can one save the lost;

Trapped in a time far away?

I can not speak of the horror; Only of the screams.

I hear them slip through your lips,

And besiege me in my dreams.

I’m sorry I left you there; In that place, all alone…

Where the clock’s forever stuck,

At quarter-past “never-known”.

–I stand atop a dark stairway. I see you below,

And as your eyes look my way,

I spy a looming shadow;

And as the shadow passes o’er, our eyes, they fin’lly meet.

I know I can not save you,

So once again I retreat.–

I didn’t recognize, ’cause I didn’t want to know,

That the girl in the mirror,

Had the same bleak eyes which show…

The anguish of a child betrayed. A child left behind…

Deserted and forsaken,

In the corners of my mind.

K. Aldaya, 4/27/18

Picture: Vintage image used in the book “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children” by Ransom Riggs; https://www.pinterest.com/pin/330522060122327068/

437. While You Sleep I Lie Alone

While you sleep I lie alone,

And cry, curled up, in my old home.

In the corner, where I lie,

I cry, and cry, and cry, and cry;

Yet never does the house fill up,…

The tears, they always dry right up,

And leave me all alone.

While you sleep I lie alone,

And drift away to my old home,

Where even tears wave me goodbye;

As swiftly as they drop…they dry,

As if they never fell at all.

Time ticks and forgets it all.

Nothing left, just dust and bone,

And memories left all alone…

On the floor.

K. Aldaya, 4/25/18

436. “We”

We work in the shadows with an air of civility,

Dropping the pants of a world undisclosed;

Where eyes vilify the skirted and clothed,

For breeding the sins of the overexposed.

We move softly in the shadows eclipsed by “the unsaid”.

With the weight of morality on our backs.

We amend with checks and our very souls,

As we drift namelessly, and fall through the cracks.

We’re the shame and mortification of being alive.

Our breasts, and sex, are man’s nature denied.

Shunned from the sun and logical discourse;

The raw…the real…the gospel lost inside…

Mirrors heedless of reflection.

K. Aldaya, 4/13/18

Picture: http://www.harbus.org/2018/what-women-want/

435. Dream on a Star

In the darkness dreams take flight,

Through the airy skies of night,

Into the arms of stars beyond,

The gaze of mortal sight.

Where they may blossom into hope,

To hold us when we can not cope;

As time’s unending legacy,

Surpasses human scope.

So dream your dreams tonight, my dear,

Without worry. Without fear,

For long after this song is sung,

Those stars which I once dreamt upon,

Will brightly shine for you.

K. Aldaya, 4/11/18

Picture: https://pixabay.com/en/star-gazing-starry-night-astronomy-1149228/

434. Creation

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Place your feet and ripple out into the universe,

Crafting new waves through space which disperse…

Reverberations of existence, and worlds beyond,

The span of human thought and vision.

Utter in mere mortal words…in your tongues, resonate;

Through the endless ocean which time creates.

Drift distantly…afar from transient flesh and bone.

Pervade and imprint thoughts into life.

K. Aldaya, 4/8/18

Picture: http://www.freehdimages.in/wallpaper/desktop-real-images-of-the-planet-saturn-download/

433. I Walk Away from Yesterday

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I walk away from yesterday,

With hope upon my back;

It weighs me down as I make my way,

Toward a future, and there is no turning back.

What if I can not take the weight,

Of what will and won’t be?

Will the journey be worth the fate,

That the choices made, will cultivate for me?

I know not where this path will lead,

Nor how to grasp each day.

All I know is it’s best to concede,

Then stand in place, never moving either way.

I walk away from yesterday,

With hope upon my back;

It weighs me down as I make my way,

Toward a future, and there is no turning back.

K. Aldaya, 4/6/18

Picture: https://pxhere.com/en/photo/676096

 

432. Middle Earth

“I’m neither hope nor misery”, he looked at me and said.

“I’m a human, so why do you look for Gods instead?”

“I could tell you of hope beyond which words describe,

Or tell you of the misery which bloody tears inscribe.”

“I’m neither good, nor am I bad”, he looked at me and said.

“I’m but a human being made of both a heart and head.”

“So why place me up high or low, in heav’n or hell?”

“For as far as I can tell from here, Earth fits us quite well.”

K. Aldaya, 3/30/18

Picture: By trottin-the-globe.tumblr.com; http://twistedsifter.com/2013/03/atop-lions-head-cape-town-south-africa/

431. I Am an Illusion

I am an illusion.

What’s seen is not real.

I’m simply a construct,

Of what you think and feel.

I am an illusion,

Of hope and consequence,

Blowing through the universe;

In the absence.

I am an illusion,

Which wishes to be more;

Ever searching for substance,

Where it’s ne’er been found before.

I am an illusion.

Blink and then move on.

I was never really here at all.

Like time, I’m both here…and gone.

K. Aldaya, 3/29/18

Picture: By Norvz Austria; https://xetobyte.deviantart.com/

430. The New and Strange

At first the world didn’t see me,

Then when it finally did.

It shuttered up it’s eyes…

“Lies. Lies. Lies. Lies.”

At first I had no voice at all,

Then when I did, and spoke,

Every ear was covered…

“Sing, bird. Sing, bird.”

At first I thought the world might change,

Then one day I realized.

Change lies in wait within…

“How strange! How strange!”.

K. Aldaya, 3/28/18

429. Voiceless

I went out to sea to find,

What lurks in the abyss.

Yet, what we seek we often find;

Ah, ignorance is bliss!

In the deep there was a form,

Within an inky cloud.

It’s tentacles: long and uniform,

Pulled me into it’s shroud.

I turned and saw two black eyes,

Darker than the darkness,

And set my jaw to utter cries,

Unheard. Unfelt. Useless.

In the cold and icy deep,

Where words distort and fail,

My voice returned unto it’s keep,

And my soul began to wail:

“Rest in peace! Rest in peace!”.

K. Aldaya, 3/22/18

Picture: https://www.fatosdesconhecidos.com.br/7-coisas-que-sonambulos-fazem-e-podem-arriscar-vidas/

428. H(a)unted

I am h(a)unted by the past,

It stalks me in the night;

Pounds on the doors of my mind,

And causes endless fright,…

In passing.

I am h(a)unted by the past,

It preys upon my fear,

With arrows ready for the kill;

And I, just another de(e)ar,…

Am game.

I am h(a)unted by the past,

It follows in my wake;

Relentlessly, after my life,

For the past we can’t forsake,…

Or change.

I am h(a)unted by the past,

It’s traps are placed and ready,

To spring when least expected.

The path’s long, and feet unsteady,…

As I step onward,….ever onward,…

To live.

K. Aldaya, 2/27/18

Picture: https://www.shutterstock.com/video/clip-16391017-stock-footage-romantic-woman-in-forest.html?src=rel/23381599:1/gg

426. No One

When I needed a hand, no one was around.

When I bled out my pain, no one ever cared.

When I needed an ear, no one ever listened.

When I cried myself to sleep, no one was awake.

When I needed a hug, no one ever held me.

When I was alone and scared, no one ever came.

Yes, I’ve always been needy…

And “No One” is my name.

K. Aldaya, 1/31/18

425. Waiting

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I…I see you there.

Why can’t you see me?

I place my hand upon the glass;

Yet, your hand never reaches out to me…

Nor sees beyond reflection.

I…I see you there.

Far away, though still,

I wonder what it’s like to live,

On the other side of this windowsill.

My hand presses ‘gainst the glass…

…Waiting…………..

………Waiting………………….

K. Aldaya, 1/30/18

Picture: Original Source Unknown; http://wisgoon.com/pin/17546199/#submit_comment

424. Human

No, I’m not a generic “white person”,

And no one should ever be.

We’re all our own people,

So stop stereotyping me.

I’m not a “white person” at all.

I am simply a human being,

And until all understand this,

Racism will always be a thing.

Who cares what you look like.

What are you like inside?

What kind of a soul do you have,

Within this skin we all reside?

All ethnicities…shapes…colors…

We are all the same.

So why can’t we love one another?

Sometimes sight is such a shame!

If we saw no colors…

Then there’d only be a name: Human.

K. Aldaya, 1/26/18

423. Hollow

dark-1852985_960_720

The floorboards creak…

Titter-totter. Titter-totter.

This place is home,

So what’s the matter?

What’s the matter?

Doors move and squeak…

Shriek-shriek. Shriek-shriek.

This place is home,

So why sneak?

Creak-Creak.

The windows jolt.

Rattle-clatter. Rattle-clatter.

This place is home,

So where’s the chatter?

What’s the matter?

The stairs settle…

Whisper-whisper. Whisper-whisper.

No one is home,

But they were…

They were……………

K. Aldaya, 1/25/18

Picture: https://pixabay.com/en/dark-door-door-handle-light-1852985/

421. Misunderstood

You’ll never understand. I know.

It’s just the way it is.

You’ll never understand how I feel,

And I’m glad. It is what it is.

You’ll never understand why I,

Am the way I am.

You’ll always see me as less than you;

And it’s okay. I am what I am.

You’ll never understand, yet still,

I wish you’d at least try;

Though I don’t blame you for not wanting to,

Life is short and too soon we die.

You’ll never understand, my dear,

How much I wish to be…

Free from the blueprints of memory.

Wave goodbye. What will be, will be.

K. Aldaya, 1/4/18

420. Mirror

Fingers pressed,

Firm and still,

Awaiting motion,…

From the brain wand’ring at will,

Beyond all tactile notion.

Eyes adrift,

Scan and see,

Sights too far from word;

Through glass they hide from mem’ry,

In corners undiscovered.

Tiptoeing.

Wandering.

Matter falls away.

In the mirror unblinking,

She silently floats away.

K. Aldaya, 12/7/17

Picture: Original Source Unknown; https://wallpaperscraft.com/download/girl_mirror_reflection_opinion_87457/1920×1080#

419. What Do You Call It?

What do you call it when someone’s judged by their skin?

When they’re told, “You’re a certain way and don’t fit in”.

What do you call it when they’re picked on for their shade?

When they’re told they are wrong, just for how they were made?

What do you call it when they’re blamed for who they are?

“Your skin is the reason why you deserve a scar”.

What do you call it when they’re told: “Change your color!”.

Told: “It isn’t right” or “You should have another”?

I’ll tell you what it is called…It’s called racism, right?

Though I wonder what you’d say if I told you they were “white”.

K. Aldaya, 11/29/17

418. Mortal Paths

Another night ‘lone I lie,

And drift the vast path of thought.

Oh, how many years wasted?

Wandering endlessly…

Though, always onward led?

Led unto my own demise;

A maze of my own making.

What a waste of life…of time:

So precious…so finite…

Squandered in verse and rhyme.

I am nothing. Never was.

Mortality haunts my brain.

For I know not where to start,

Nor how to find the worth,

In the pleadings of heart.

Will anyone remember?

Or will everyone forget?

This mortal realm where I walked,…

On paths without ending;

Where all alone I talked…

To you.

“Hello”………………………………………………………….”Goodbye”.

K. Aldaya, 11/24/17

Picture: https://www.shutterstock.com/video/clip-9726293-stock-footage-handwriting-a-letter-by-candle-light.html

417. I Dare You!

lisbethalarmgif

I dare you to try and placate my rage.

I dare you: Try and put me in a cage.

I dare you to try and fight ‘gainst your fate.

I dare you: Repent, before it’s too late.

I dare you to perceive how ‘real’ pain feels;

Pain without pleasure, assuage, or appeals.

I dare you to try and tread on my back.

I dare you. Step forward, coward. Attack!

You are a coward. A killer. A cad.

You want a victim? Well, that is too bad.

I dare you to try and silence my voice.

There’s only one option. Only one choice.

I dare you to laugh aloud at my pain.

I dare you to cut…Leave another stain.

For as long as I have an ounce of life,

You better watch your back, ’cause I have your knife!

K. Aldaya, 11/17/17

Picture: Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander in “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo“; http://www.curiouswriter.com/lisbeth-salander-is-back/

415. Don’t Forget

romantic-couple-wallpaper-290 (1)

Don’t forget to love,

And don’t forget to feel;

For life moves on forever,

Yet only love is real.

Don’t forget the faces,

And don’t forget that hope,

Lingers in the air,

Beyond each life’s scope.

Don’t forget to touch,

And don’t forget to see,

That the only thing of consequence,

Is the heart’s melody.

K. Aldaya, 10/26/17

Picture: http://www.iwallpaper.org/romantic-couple-wallpapers-290

413. Tempus Edax Rerum

tumblr_m08aubmthW1r3a6jho1_500

Time devours all things,

And life leads but to death,

Yet in your arms a lifetime’s…

Inhaled, in one breath.

Time devours all things,

And we are but one course,

Yet in one kiss, the soul…

Returns to it’s true source.

Time devours all things;

It’s flow is definite.

Ticking on forever…

So we make use of it.

Here.

Now.

Our love is infinite.

K. Aldaya, 8/30/17

Picture: Original Artist Unknown; http://weheartit.com/entry/24111142; http://littlepawz.tumblr.com/post/18572611002/love-is-the-enchanted-dawn-of-every-heart

412. In the Horizon

Pacific_Sunset_Pismo_Beach_California

Tangerine-seas quench my day-parched soul,

With the hope that maybe tomorrow,

Will find it new and whole.

As the sun descends and light fades out,

I inhale deeply of it’s sweetness,

And expunge any doubt.

For the night is coming…time to sleep,

And dream of new, better tomorrows,

Yet, first I’ll drink and weep,

For the yesterday which burns away…

In the horizon.

K. Aldaya, 8/25/17

Picture: http://wallpaperweb.org/wallpaper/nature/pacific-sunset-pismo-beach-california_40871.htm

 

411. We Take it With Us

Under a cold and somber spell,

We stand two worlds apart;

Yet though the world’s taken my life,

It will never take my heart!

The heart which loved and cared for you.

A heart which felt love’s sting;

Which beat the bitter tides of fate…

Back, for awhile to sing.

We can not go back now,

For life ever moves on;

And we must move on with it.

Cling tightly.  Hold on…

To hope and future happiness.

In times of change, to feel,

No matter how hurt we are:

Even broken hearts may heal…

Knowing that love goes on.

—-We take it with us.

K. Aldaya, 8/10/17

410. Love Endures

I have never been of noble birth,

Nor lived a wealthy life.

Yet you filled my days with love and mirth,

And though we had our share of strife;

You gave your everything.

Though I was not born into love,

Or cherished as some jewel.

You taught me I was worthy of love,

And though I’ve always been a fool;

You loved me regardless.

And no matter what the days may bring,

We will remember still,

The life we shared together, and sing,

Our odes of love and hope which will,…

Sound, long after our time.

K. Aldaya, 7/27/17

Picture: https://thewondrous.com/cute-couple-pictures/

409. Here

Forget about the girl who said what no one wished to hear.

Go on. Pretend she never existed;

Yet someday…in some distant year,

When you least expect it,

You may hear,

A voice ring out and speak to you.

You may find the voice persisted.

‘Neath the echoes of cars and trains moving through time you hear;

Below the beeps, clangs, bangs, and caterwauls…

Her voice. Onward you pace and veer,

Through the streets she stalks you;

Drifting near.

Walking in the steps, behind you.

Listen, in silence a voice calls…

“I was here…

………….I was here.”

K. Aldaya, 7/25/17

Picture: http://www.guibingzhuche.com/WDF-1038603.html

408. Where is Hope?

Hope-May Spring went outside to sing,

And play among the flowers.

Her days were spent frolicking,

And dancing ‘way the hours,

In the sun.

One day she walked upon the stage,

To sing her song aloud.

She stepped bravely across the stage,

And sang out strong and proud:

Joyously.

Applause rang out through the room,

And Hope-May was o’erjoyed,

To have touched hearts within that room,

Her smile could not avoid…

Joining in.

Joy can’t last forever though,

And no story is so kind,

For as soon as it was time to go,

Her mother voiced her mind:

“Not the worst”.

Strangers praised her performance,

Yet her mother looked on sternly.

Her songs could never seem to dance,

Their way in mother’s heart to free…

Approval.

Through the years she heard no praise;

Nor laud. Nor compliment.

And soon she felt her mother’s gaze,

Was always there and sent…

Shivers down.

Ah, that voice was always there.

Always echoing: “Never enough!”,

Until the joy she used to share,

Sang out soft and gruff;

And empty.

Her joy, her mother ate it all;

Served with criticism and jeers.

Hope-May ate the meals all,

And swallowed down her tears…

In silence.

Hope-May Spring used to sing.

It’s said she sang quite well;

Though now she does not like to sing,

Nor does she ever tell…

Of her heart.

Though sometimes she dreams secretly,

Of those days so long ago,

When her heart was given joyously,

And hope could freely flow;

From her veins.

Hope-May Spring will sometimes sing,

And smile vacantly;

Though if you listen to her sing,

You’ll hear a sad and desperate plea:

“Where is Hope?”.

K. Aldaya, 7/13/17

407. Naught but Vain

If I used logic. I would still be called a fool;

For logic will not purge the minds of resolute belief.

You’ll always think me: “fool”.

If I used emotion to try and reach your heart,

You’d only dismiss it as ‘irrational sentiment’,

And spurn my bleeding heart.

If I told the truth. If I told you what I know.

You’d remind me that truth is unreliable when it,…

Occurred so long ago.

If I swore on my life, that I know and speak the truth.

You’d still deny my pleading words. No matter what I said,

You’d still require proof.

If I stepped off a cliff and waved to you goodbye,

Would you finally listen to what you refuse to hear?

To be heard, must we die?

If I apologized for my life and my soul,

Would you continue to blame me until the utter end,

And still forsake my soul?

If you don’t yet know this, then let me please explain.

Invalidation kills the soul and digs an early grave,

And there the stone reads bitterly:

“This life was naught but vain”.

K. Aldaya, 7/12/17

406. The World, It Wants Me Dead

giphykrst

The world is talking to me.

I hear it speaking loudly.

It’s voice echoes internally,

Of it’s hatred: Just for me,

Since my birth.

The Earth is speaking to me,

“No one cares about thee!”

“Thy birth, it was a tragedy,

Which only death could remedy;

In the fall.”

When the whole world wants you dead,

It hardly seems good manners to be hard in head;

And fight the fate which lies ahead.

The path will, and has always lead,

To the fall.

The world, it wants me dead!

—And yet,…I’ve never liked being told what to do.

K. Aldaya, 7/10/17

Gif: Kristen Stewart in Welcome to the Rileys; https://giphy.com/gifs/kristen-stewart-college-obama-NITJtjaJQJJS

405. Renegade

Run away.

Run away. Be free.

To them you’re only a body.

Run away.

Run away, and be,

Whoever you may wish to be.

Run away.

Run away. Be whole.

Agenda’s will steal ‘way your soul.

Run away.

Run away in fright,

From those who align wrong with right.

Run away.

Run away, my friend,

Or they will use you ’til the end.

Run away.

Run away and fly,

For they will not care if you die.

Run away.

Run away…today.

They will try and convince you to stay,

Yet run away,…

Run away, anyway.

You’re more then the politics of the day!

K. Aldaya, 7/5/17

Picture: https://lockerdome.com/6895118150158401/7721626657624084

403. Doublethink

You taught me your doublethink,

Now I can’t escape the effects.

When ill I tell myself I’m fine,

When fine, sickness still infects.

I’m always here on the brink.

You taught me my words don’t count.

When sad to be happy.

When happy, never be too glad.

Survival’s all you can see.

Words and feelings never count.

You taught me your distortion.

Truth’s whatever served you the best;

And the truth is you lied to me,

For you, it was always best.

You flourished in extortion.

You taught me your doublethink,

Now your words, they hold no meaning.

When I’m angry I’m also calm;

Yet when calm,…anger’s seething!

I don’t think, I think…I think??

Sad is bad, and bad is sad.

And glad is mad, and mad is glad.

For 1 is 2 and 2 is 1.

You’re insane, so smile, be sad!

Doublethink has made you glad!

K. Aldaya, 6/28/17