353. Puppet Heart


It reminds me that I’m not loved for me…

I’m loved for what I do;

When I don’t do what’s expected,

(As all those other people do),

I’m swiftly rejected.

No words are needed to remind me that,

My mind’s not important to you.

As long as my body does it’s work,

You’ll treat me as a human too.

I’m nothing but a piece of work.

Even my mind can’t stand for this,

And is gone most of the time.

How is it I don’t have a say,

In controlling what is mine?

So it oft’ seems best just to stay away.

I have to earn my place in your heart,

I’m not enough just being me.

If I didn’t do what I’m supposed to,

Would you ever be able to love me?

Love comes with strings attached.

K. Aldaya, 5/13/16

Picture: By Rosie Hardy on Flickr; http://weheartit.com/entry/group/467124

255. Never Enough

I am.

I exist.

Why is this never enough?

I see.

I dream.

Why are dreams so tough…..

To hold?

To keep?

Yet so easy to create.

I dream.

You dream.

Though dreams can’t fight fate.


And still.

We hold.

Struggle to grasp with two hands.

Our souls,

So deep.

Walking the line ‘tween two lands.

Was made.


Hoping beyond all odds.


And dead.

Both am I; and my head nods.

To earth.

To dust.

My creator and my exterminator.

My love.

My hate.

My lower and my greater.

I am.

I exist.

Why is this never enough?

I hope.

I dream.

And dig in the dirt so rough.

My hands.

They bleed.

For the earth to feel me.

My soul.

It cries.

For the dreams which with dust will bury me.

I am.

I exist.

No it’s never enough for me.

No life.

No death.

I long for my dreams to be free!

K. Aldaya, 12/1/13

Picture:  “Dirty Hands” by Aaron on dailypayne.com; http://dailypayne.com/dirty-hands

239. Pathetic


I’m not a human.

At least not to you.

Outside I look human,

But inside I’m blue.

So blue you will drown,

If you look too deep.

Don’t bother to know me.

Just call me a creep!

Just push me away!

Call me names……hurt me!

Stab, kick, and break,

Until I drown in my own sea.

And as I fall down….

As I fade away…..

“She was weak and pathetic”,

That’s what you’ll say.

K. Aldaya, 05/28/13

Picture:  “Drowning” by Madelaines on Deviant Art; http://madelaines.deviantart.com/art/Drowning-61567330

163. The Fog


The misty earth below is hid,

From sight of God and man,

As heavens’ protection doesn’t bid,

This shadowed world to know its’ plan.

Beyond the airy gray below,

Are those who live within,

The land of empty-shadow,

Thick upon the air with sin.

In this land there is a house,

Covered with moss and jaded-vine.

And in that lonely little house,

Is a child in tranquil confine.

A fire pleasantly lights the room,

Glitterin’ the windows with a dance.

But a soul inside its’ tomb,

Is cold as ice…froze in a trance.

Silence poisons the emptiness,

But for the raging flames afar,

As a child bound to distress,

Can so swiftly burn and char.

Thoughts find themselves a home,

In minds that beg for mercy,

Beyond two glassy eyes which roam,

To glimpse every controversy;

For fires of rage burn bright,

Inside each past made memory.

Seen with unwarranted sight,

In a madmans’ vast puratory.

Men can be, or choose, to be,

The face of God on earth,

Raging at all souls they see:

Sinned and sorely lost from birth.

Fear is this mans mask of death,

To all who look upon it,

“For fear is respect”, he saith,

“Willed to strike the vile in wit”.

Terror and fear engulfs,

In flames he ignited,

In this child of ill-sent faults,

Not right, yet never righted.

The child in this lonely place,

In the rooms’ corner far,

In a state absent of grace,

Dreams of the soon daystar.

Though God’s closed his view,

To whate’er purpose is there.

He’ll return when the day is new,

As hope gives way to renewed care.

The misty earth below will light,

With sight of God and man,

And in the sunshine, eye bright,

Beg resolve for some ultimate plan;

Which leaves a solaced land,

Inside where this old house does stand,

Hidden from all sound reprimand.

K. Aldaya, 9/16/05

Picture:  by Meaghan at abookwormshaven.com; http://abookwormshaven.com/2012/12/08/saturday-snapshot-house-in-the-fog/