400. Brother Dear, Don’t Leave Me Here

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Brother dear, don’t leave me here.

It’s lonely in this closet.

Sister dear, I fear…I fear,

The harms which men commit.

Sister dear, don’t leave me here.

It’s lonely in this room.

Brother dear, I fear…I fear,

This life will be my tomb.

Brother dear, don’t leave me here.

It’s lonely in my mind.

Sister dear, I fear…I fear,

I’ll one day lose my mind.

Sister dear, don’t leave me here,

It’s lonely without you.

Brother dear, I fear…I fear,

The past we can’t undo.

K. Aldaya, 6/22/17

Picture: From Pinterest; http://weheartit.com/entry/27044263

352. Random Thought #17

I could sit for hours in this spot,

Just staring at the wall;

And I sometimes wish I could do just that,

Without any guilt at all.

Yet, I feel guilty for my absence;

For not being enough…

For letting my mind escape for awhile,

When times get tough.

So I fight against the emptiness,

And fight against the pain,

When I know it’s only a matter of time,

And it’s sure to end the same.

If one day I don’t make it back.

Please promise me you’ll try,

To still come visit, and hold my hand,

A few times before I die.

K. Aldaya, 5/11/16

348. Drowning on the Surface

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How is it the more I speak,

The more I feel misunderstood?

What’s the point of speaking,

When it never does me any good?

Why do I even bother,

What can be said or done?

No one wants deep relationships,

And I’m tired of every shallow one.

I have no energy to waste,

On trivial conversations.

There’s no worth for me in social conventions.

I’d rather dwell on inner contemplations.

I wish I didn’t have to speak,

When there’s no point to anyway.

No one listens or understands,

Or cares to try as they may…

To know another soul,

And connect beyond the skin.

It hurts too much to try again,

Just to drown once more in the skin.

K. Aldaya, 4/14/16

Picture: Photo from Google; Originally from Video: http://www.shutterstock.com/video/clip-9892391-stock-footage-lonely-girl-at-rain-looks-at-dirty-forest-pond-worried-girl-sitting-with-hands-over-head-stares-to.html

334. Night Dreams

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The foggy night is cool and glistens,

With the rains of yesterday,

And I find myself saddened again,

By the loneliness of it’s gray.

Yet, I know this is my hour of choice.

The peaceful and tranquil hour,

When most humans are found fast asleep,

And I feel most safe within my tower…

To look out into the universe,

And wish upon a star or moon,

For their beauty to become an eternal song,

So I may forever hum out their tune.

I long to stay and sing out,

Into the silence of eternity;

Though it makes me sad to be alone,

It’s far better with no company.

The stars will hear and twinkle bright,

And the moon will brightly beam.

No matter how dark and lonely the night,

It still can feel like a dream.

I’ve yet to meet one human being,

Who cares to hear my song or voice;

Instead my voice is ripped from me,

And the soul is left no choice…

It runs away and hides behind,

Cordialities and facades.

The body lingers devoid of life,

At the edge of gambled-odds.

There is no dream unbroken by,

The realities of humankind.

Will we ever be safe in each other’s arms,

Or truly understand another’s mind?

Until that day or maybe never,

I will hope and dream at night.

Alone I will sing to the distant moon,

And when tears fall they’ll express the flight,

Of my soul into the skies.

K. Aldaya, 2/25/16

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.playbuzz.com/shira10/22-unbelievable-facts-about-the-human-body-that-will-blow-your-mind

322. Smile City

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I walk the lonely neon streets,

Of my minds’ perceptioned-city:

Constructed experiences,

On frames of personality.

It glows here with electric-life,

And yet all is calm and silent.

The lit windows in each skyscraper,

Are on all the time to torment.

For all that keeps me company,

Are the shadows in the darkness;

They wander ’bout the city streets,

With motives one can’t quite assess.

O’ the night is never-ending,

And sanity is not welcome.

For the only ways to pass time,

Require certain levels of numb.

The cityscape gets dull and drab,

And monotony fosters art.

Splash of red here.  A mural there.

Blood stains make for good tragic art;

And when life gets too tiresome,

There are always things to distract.

Just climb atop a tall building,

And jump off to make an impact!

One must always make sure to smile…

Or at least wear one anyway;

‘Cause come on, what else can you do?

Has it not always been this way?

The world is built on blood and tears,

Though as they say, “Just smile, it’s life!”

We haunt this endless night alone,

Smiling on with the help of a knife.

K. Aldaya, 10/10/15

Picture:  from HD Wallpapershttp://www.hdwallpapers.im/sadness_loneliness_longing_night_city_roof_railing_lighting_a_girl_desktop-wallpaper.html

159. The Lonely Mind

Would it not be grand to have all understand,

This life I have known, and the mind that doth stand,

Alone in bare-atone?

Wouldn’t it be great to be not one lost fate,

But a cared ’bout concept, not to be learned too late.

For still-conscious mans accept?

And being thou then seen, not for pity but for being,

For toiling in isolations, in whate’er sense it mean;

And conceive the implications,

Of what one may so glean.

K. Aldaya, 8/25/05