388. Broken Vessel

I had no right to refuse you,

For I had no rights at all.

You locked me within your eyes,

And from then on I was all…

You could see.

You gazed at me with doting eyes,

While you bled your victims dry.

You didn’t plan to kill me too,

And I didn’t want to die…

Just like them.

You stared into my eyes so deep.

You invaded my brain.

I became your loving home,

And you drove me insane…

With your thoughts.

Pleasure and pain you intermix.

As you love, so do you cry.

You drown me in your tears and rage,

While I lie still and try…

To go home.

Yet there’s no home to go back to,

Nor any door you cannot access.

You and I, we share this home,

And trying to escape: a hopeless…

Endeavor.

You walk these halls eternally,

And you, my fate, have judged.

The walls are made of bitter tears,

And each bloody lash is smudged…

Into bars.

I have no right to hate you,

For I have no rights at all.

You stole far down into my soul,

And from then on you were all…

That I am.

The criminal and the victim.

The loved and the lost.

The guilty and the innocent.

The vessel which you tossed…

To the side…

…broken.

K. Aldaya, 3/10/17

Advertisements

180. What a Guilty Game You Play My Dear

Guilt

How many times must you speak of all your sacrifices?

I know you truly have a heart, but venality your soul entices,

To onus all who hear your call;

With guilt it does impart.

No matter I still care to fix.

Make it right somehow.

But how, O’ how can this be done?

For continuity won’t allow,

The soul to free and finally be….

A persons’ life begun.

K. Aldaya, 10/21/05

Picture:  Uploaded on Photobucket by ezz_0; Photographer Unknown; http://i774.photobucket.com/albums/yy24/ezz_0/Guilt.jpg

40. A Familiar Place

aarin-dark-cemetery

I’ve found that no matter how I try to,

I don’t seem to fit in this world that you do.

I’m on an alien world with all of my thoughts;

A place filled with nothings, nevers, and nots.

But this world doesn’t feel foreign to me,

It’s familiar. I know it. See?

You can feel this place, can’t you?

I’m sure there’s a season when you’ve wandered through.

I feel its’ presence always here, inside.

I try to ignore it, but it never budges aside.

I’ve found that in walking a cemetery through,

That I need be there just as the graves do.

Somehow I fit in this other place,

Where I’m still ever waiting for befitting grace.

The freedom for me to connect with your world,

Where I won’t feel that place with retributions aswirled.

I won’t have to feel that a tombstone’s my own,

That my name should be written on an old gray stone.

A stone in that place that plagues me forever.

A living, vexing dream I never can sever.

K. Aldaya, 2/22/04

Picture:  Aarin Dark Cemetery by Nagoth666 on Photobucket; http://s712.photobucket.com/user/nagoth666/media/aarin-dark-cemetery.jpg.html