414. You Do Not Have to Die

I didn’t want to die when I swallowed all those pills.

I didn’t want to die when I climbed those lofty hills.

I didn’t want to die when I tied that rope on tight.

I didn’t want to die when I climbed that towers’ height.

I didn’t want to die when I loaded that old gun.

I didn’t want to die, yet what is done, is done.

I swallowed all those pills, and climbed those lofty hills;

And tied that rope on tight, and jumped off from that height.

And I loaded that old gun, for there wasn’t anyone,…to say:

“You do not have to die! It doesn’t have to be this way.”

I see you there with all those pills. I see you climbing hills.

I see that you purchased that rope and have no sense of hope.

I see that you are walking up the stairs to the top.

I see that gun, “Put it down. Put it down. Stop!”

You do not have to die, my friend.

This should not be your end.

I see you. I see you…and all that pain within you.

Please put down those pills, and walk beyond those hills.

Unknot that rope. There’s still hope. There’s still hope!

Lay down that gun, and in the morn we’ll watch the sun,…

As it peeks o’er the line ‘tween night and day,

We’ll sit and watch the start of another earthly day;

And laugh, and cry, and hope together,

Under the ethereal clouds we gather,…

And fashion into dreams.

K. Aldaya, 10/4/17

Picture: https://www.wallpaperflare.com/brown-rocky-mountain-during-sunrise-photo-rophaien-wallpaper-17362

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357. Sleep

alone-arms-bed-depressed-depressing-emo-Favim.com-47601

You always sleep when I cry,

And one day you will when I lie…

in a coffin: the bed of the cursed.

Remember you shunned my pain first!

You always ignore when I bleed,

And don’t bother to stop and take heed.

Blades listen much sharper than you.

Isn’t blood now on your hands too?

You always disregard my words…

They drift onto paper like cowards;

Afraid to take to the air,

And be blown away without a care.

You always sleep when I cry,

And one day when I up and die.

Remember I told you I would.

Living: Tell me why I should!

K. Aldaya, 6/15/16

Picture: Originally posted by Doreese on Tumblr; http://favim.com/image/47601/

355. Political Reform

Where are the hands which hold you here?

Which hold you to this land,

Of scorching concrete,

And vulgar deceit?

Where gavels scream every command,

Of the political elite.

Where are the hands which hold you back?

Which hold you in embrace?

The hands which act,

To make an impact,

Before time is lost without a trace?

Toward death the odds are stacked.

Where are the hands which hold you near?

Which hold your worth skin-tight?

Hands fall to find,

The world is unkind.

Countless die from depression’s heights,

Waiting for laws to be signed….

………..Waiting for a hand to hold.

K. Aldaya, 6/4/16

243. Live for the Moment

rainy_night_by_gmk9vii-d8djhcj

Late I lie when all are sleeping.

In my bed tossing and stressing.

I try to think not ‘gain of weeping,

But my mind won’t listen.

I cannot run from the reelings,

Of life movies inwardly playing.

Cannot stop or destroy the feelings,

Which torture yet again.

The pain of living with the truth,

Bleeds me dry, until I lie,

Closed-off and aloof;

I am the walking dead.

I long to get it out of me.

The shame and pain and memories.

There is no way, don’t you agree?

To save my soul anyway?

I could bleed it out my veins.

I could bandage and heal it,

But the truth is as long as I have veins,

The pain will be there too.

Only a moment would I find relief,

By taking care of outwardly-pain;

Then later, heal, and feel only grief,

That the mark is gone.

As I still feel the pain…didn’t heal at all!

No matter how much I bleed it’s there,

So what can I do?  I have to live or fall.

A moment longer.  A moment.

I must live for the moment or die.

Let it all out and cry.

K. Aldaya, 07/23/13

Picture:  “Rainy Night” by GMK9VII on Deviant Art; http://www.deviantart.com/art/Rainy-Night-506473363

239. Pathetic

Drowning_by_madelaines

I’m not a human.

At least not to you.

Outside I look human,

But inside I’m blue.

So blue you will drown,

If you look too deep.

Don’t bother to know me.

Just call me a creep!

Just push me away!

Call me names……hurt me!

Stab, kick, and break,

Until I drown in my own sea.

And as I fall down….

As I fade away…..

“She was weak and pathetic”,

That’s what you’ll say.

K. Aldaya, 05/28/13

Picture:  “Drowning” by Madelaines on Deviant Art; http://madelaines.deviantart.com/art/Drowning-61567330

234. Just Another Broken Soul

broken_soul_by_andygoth666-d4nh06t

I don’t know why I bother.

I write. I weep, in vain.

I’ll never be able to express or convey,

What’s pounding in my brain.

I say a word or maybe two.

You’ll nod your head, “Ah yes!”,

“I understand”.

And I will nod, “Sure…yes”.

But the truth is that it angers me.

How patronizing can you be?

You know nothing of my life,

And I’m glad for it not to be!

You’ll never understand what it’s like to cry….,

Cry away years of your life.

To linger, strive, hurt, and bleed,

The blood from your own knife.

To only know that pain because,

It’s all you’ve ever known;

And never trust joy or happiness,

Forever feeling new and unknown.

But it’s my fault because I was,

Born to take a breath,….to walk.

Born a toy for everyone.

Toys don’t get to fight back or talk.

Toys are made to be used and trashed,

When all the fun is through–a waste–

Of others time and lives…

A regret. A purchase made in haste.

But as I’ve said it’s my fault,

And my place in time and guilt.

If I don’t get over it,

It’s more guilt upon guilt.

Those who damage and destroy,

They get off scott-free –no responsibility;

While I must take responsibility,

For everything which was done to me.

I know what I’m supposed to say.

I know what I should do,

But it would only be because,

I was told it’s what I should do.

I don’t believe that I’m stronger,

Or believe I’m now wiser or better.

Is this Masochism 101?

Must I learn to love pain to be better?

I know it’s not what you want to hear,

And so you may no longer listen;

But yet I still must say it because it’s the truth.

I beg you, listen!

I will never be okay and it is not okay!

I won’t lie and say it’s fine as if it never happened.

Nobody wins and there’s only destruction.

I will hurt until the end.

For a broken soul may never mend.

K. Aldaya, 03/20/13

Picture:  “Broken Soul” by AndyGarcia666 on Deviant Art; http://andygarcia666.deviantart.com/art/Broken-Soul-281289269

232. A Sick Joke of a Poem

everything_dies_by_msdudettes-d5iwsd9

What is the point?

Tell me what could it be?

What could be the use of life so lone and empty?

I’m tired of trying to lie to myself.

This life of a prison suffocates me!

Hate my body.

I despise all the games.

I’m tired of playing all these filthy games!

I love my family so much it hurts.

The joy I find in them hell quickly claims.

No matter what…

No matter what I do;

They will die, or I, and time will fade what we knew.

No longer will I hold them or see them.

E’er left with bitter-dreams of phantoms I once knew.

It is all wrong!

I have to fix this joke.

What a sick f***in’ joke this is…A sick joke!

How can I enjoy what will not last?

Love deeply this flower….now watch it choke?

K. Aldaya, 09/13/12

Picture:  “Everything Dies” by thefoxandtheraven at Deviant Art; http://thefoxandtheraven.deviantart.com/art/Everything-Dies-334093725?q=sort%3Atime%20%28%28everything%20dies%29%20AND%20%28by%3ATheFoxAndTheRaven%29%29&qo=0

231. Needy

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Please see me….really see me,

And help me to stand.

I need you so deeply,

You don’t understand!

Sometimes I feel abandoned,

When you don’t see my pain.

I long to cry: “Don’t leave me!”,

But don’t want love in fain.

I long to be beautiful,

And worthy of embrace.

I long to be so special,

Your eyes will never leave my face.

The truth is I’ll never be,

As special as I need.

No love will ever be enough.

Never full….I feed and feed.

So empty inside. An empty void.

A vast and broken soul.

No love could ever fill it in,

Or make it new and whole.

I’m not special.  Just a freak.

Too needy to feel love.

The pain will always be too great,

For me to rise above.

Please help me,… for right now,

I cannot feel your love!

K. Aldaya, 09/11/12

Picture:  “A Broken Dream” by ageai; http://www.deviantart.com/art/In-A-Broken-Dream-11058263

224. I Fall Alone

Alone-girl-sadness-cute-in-forest-lonely

Nobody can help me.

I’ll always be alone.

Nobody can save me,

From the nightmare of it all.

Nobody can see me,

When I cry, and scream, and call.

Nobody can hear me.

In this pit of misery I fall….

Forever fall alone.

Nobody can help me.

I’ll always be alone.

Nobody can save me,

From the darkness which encroaches.

Nobody can touch me, hold me, and need me,

As time reproaches.

Nobody can shut out what I see,

As time, in loved-ones, steals from me….

And poaches…

Every joy;

While I lie alone….Forever, fall (to the grave) alone.

K. Aldaya, 12/26/11

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BSVVQ-Qvw-M/UX5kVQC6TpI/AAAAAAAABy8/cmblY9NUAzE/s1600/Alone-girl-sadness-cute-in-forest-lonely.jpg

203. The Vanished

dark-forest-night-image

Walking I once found a lair,

A lair so dank and bleak,

That every soul which did approach,

Vanished for none to seek.

No man or beast could e’er be found,

From out the door which stood.

Cloistered in a barren-world,

A world of thought and wood.

A world of selfishness and greed,

For perseverant were its’ beings,

In keeping out the door found where,

Life and death met like two streams.

Their eyes were closed as they walked,

So ignorance could still be bliss,

And as bodies floated by and by,

The bodies rose with a kiss,

Into the door to die.

K. Aldaya, 11/10/06

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://i54.photobucket.com/albums/g99/DarkDewer/dark-forest-night-image.jpg

192. Nothing

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I am nothing, and nothing will I be.

The world cannot create a joy,

Where none was meant to be.

Though to myself I may want life,

Life may not want me;

To e’er be fully-happy.

Though this itself is but a lie,

As fleeting as our lives,

For who can ever hope to die,

Having seen through heavens’ eyes?

O’ God why give life so devoid,

To beings who know its’ loss?

Where happiness: merely a dream,

Can’t be held-firm, time-across?

What then makes us keep going?

When nothing’s all there is?

When nothing’s what you get?

When nothing’s gained in end?

Just nothing…..nothing.

K. Aldaya, 2/20/06

Picture: “Twist in the Dark” by Nicola Bertellotti; http://derelictmetropolis.tumblr.com/post/33052711013/twist-in-the-dark-by-nicola-bertellotti

189. Love, Loves Misery

28f273b9e0ffd544410d90c0f6ec8072_large

How can you tear me down and then say,

“I love you, my darling”, as night turns to day.

Progressively painful vulgarities thrown,

From out your cavalierly-placed throne.

Love should not cause a heart pain as this,

Torturing ’til tears burn and dismiss,

The knowledge of love incinerated;

Then ask me to love where no love’s been created.

The tragedy’s that I care, though you kill;

Demolishing constructions at will.

Burning houses just built to stand,

Against the assault of your next reprimand.

K. Aldaya, 12/25/05

Picture:  Artist Unknown; http://data.whicdn.com/images/22478399/28f273b9e0ffd544410d90c0f6ec8072_large.jpg

176. Have it Your Way

clock-bernard-jaubert

One more day. One more day.

Then time will find,

That stalking one more day…

Would be pointless.

One more day. One more day.

Escape will find,

That it is something we may…

Have to end this.

One more day. One more day.

Then time will end.

For this soul, black as coal may,

Finely get just what it wants,

And have just one more day.

Finely, have its’ way.

K. Aldaya, 10/6/05

Picture:  “Clock” by Bernard Jaubert: http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/bernard-jaubert.html; http://fineartamerica.com/featured/clock-bernard-jaubert.html

170. The End is Near I Fear

writing_quill

My hand…look…fast is waning,

No more refrain from word-straining.

For the end swiftly approaches.

Expressionisms flow, in draining,

For sorrow encroaches.

Oh, how steady on its’ course,

We lose and then regain our source.

But hence I fear it will ne’er return,

Dripping-composure off-course,

May have no yearning to return.

K. Aldaya, 9/27/05

Picture:  “A Lady Writing” (Close-up) by Johannes Vermeer (1665-66); http://www.essentialvermeer.com/catalogue/lady_writing.html#.VULKsJO8jGs

160. Heavens’ Angels

flying_angel_by_najae_crazy-d5pplgo

Angels whisper secrets on the wind,

Barely sensed, but by the sinned.

Tortured-wails resonate,

In these endless nights of late.

Sifting through spirit skinned,

Seeking paths to heavens’ gate,

Brushing our eyes of glass, froze,

In the evenings as we doze.

Reinforcing haunts of thought,

In embrace of what’s forgot.

Comfort lit-star shows…

Hence, gone, and not.

Begging mercy for souls tonight,

On wings of angels’ flight.

As we softly rest weak bones,

Gently as wind music drones,

And settles within ears light…

“Sinned are thee”, where love unowns.

Flagrant transgressions made,

We shed on face to never fade.

And lo’ the angelic-tenants,

Of gloried sight and fertile scents,

Soar o’er field and glade.

Longing for heart-lands dense.

But few are we who grow no life,

No trees branched to the afterlife.

We close our eyes at night to pray,

Knowing our sins are bound to stay.

For the moon so crisply rife,

Shines in our hearts of gray.

Shameful existence of…

Supplications to above.

Seraphs celestially abide.

Not near we mortals a-died,

Unable for to have love…and..

E’er reach Zions’ reside,

On angels flown in skies above.

K. Aldaya, 8/27/05

Picture:  “Flying Angel” by NaJae-Crazy on Deviant Art; http://najae-crazy.deviantart.com/art/Flying-Angel-345515496

158. Give Me a Hand

ALBUM10

I saw its hand reach out to me.

In the dark it nightly watched,

Stalking my soul as a decree.

No choice: it had to have me.

Closer and closer it notched.

Its’ ghastly hand found once,

A place upon my shoulder cold.

Why is this only what it hunts?

My eyes cared only of confronts,

So they turned back to behold.

O’ what a hideous game to play,

There I saw nothing but black,

And a dim-hand far away.

O’ to offer…then steal away,

And accentuate the lack.

I painfully motioned hand outward,

To grant forth what I thought it sought.

How could I know this was absurd?

To know what this could have spurred?

It joined my hand not.

I stumbled to move in near.

Bones broke and blood teared down,

But no longer did I fear!

Then it…o yes…did disappear,

And I was left to drown.

Death is a demons’ jester-pawn.

Walking our eyes upon its’ path.

All made and held swiftly gone,

In pursuit of this path it’s on.

To fall, then arise, a living blood-bath.

And death: vast years away,

Laughs the empty hours away.

K. Aldaya, 8/14/05

Picture: “Scary Shadow” by krowngraphics; http://krowngraphics.webs.com/apps/photos/photo?photoid=43873623

157. Ardent Hope

stairway_to_heaven_by_floriancats-d5qd4kl

Will I finally be chosen tonight?

The storm-clouds are gathered,

Trembling in the sight,

Of streaks of sunlit-air.

Yes, I see it there…in light.

Is it my turn to be taken?

Basked in branched eye-stars,

Which carry with a shakin’,

My soul to heaven above?

O’ leave me not forsaken!

For forever I will be,

Longing to be there and free.

K. Aldaya, 8/7/05

Picture:  “Stairway to Heaven” by floriancats on Deviant Art; http://floriancats.deviantart.com/art/Stairway-to-heaven-346613349

156. Falling Rain

6a00d8354c582769e201156f1bc479970c-500wi

The body won’t forget what the mind wants to,

So I’m stuck with these old feelings,

And a constant aching-clue,

As to why there are no ceilings,

On this house or any other.

A protective realm of dry,

Under the blackened shadows of the rainy sky.

Bones rust and rot, …hoping to die.

The mind doesn’t want to recall what the body’s kept,

For the mind escaped somewhere while the body slept.

Dreams…0’dreams have brought me here,

To this time I own,

But skin decays, in gripped portrays,

Of storms the mind’s disowned.

The body won’t forget what the mind longs to.

The damage is already done,

Though God’s pulled the years through,

Out of the flood and mounting mud,

Having no reason…not one…haven’t a clue,

For the hours and minutes here are,

Undeserving of a mind.

In a cursed tomb as this with no covering to find….

And there’s one drop…more behind.

K. Aldaya, 8/6/05

Picture:  “Rain Drops” by Austin Tolin on Flickr; https://www.flickr.com/photos/austintolin/124121992/in/set-72057594085954911

154. Shadows

reflection_of_death_by_corvinerium_by_corvinerium-d5vd70l

The shadows of the night…

Those raven travailing mysteries,

Of the deaths proven contrite,

To any acceptable causalities,

In the slaying of virgin light.

(Which loyally escape in fright!)

Granting each gravestone stern,

A momentary flit of indication,

In the tranquil earth all earn,

When time meets Gods’ discretion,

And bowing, falls in lost sojourn.

O’ shadow-phantoms which be,

Present thyself to querying minds…

The dead, floating on a moonlit sea,

Which count stars each sky finds,

Misunderstandably.

For ask me not how or why,

You must journey in midnights’ hush,

Tormenting dead and living nigh,

With what can be or not lush,

In Hell, on Earth, or heaven high.

Spoiled with bones and memories;

Creaks and moans in shadows wither,

Tears fall as leaves on cold fall trees,

Drowning the dead, unmoving hither.

Casts of portrayed black air,

Curse the dreaming dead,

By stomping on graves made there,

Waking and calling up from bed,

To glance with eyes, the ended care

(Visions they no longer share).

The blood-thirsty and ever tired,

Thrown with pulsed beats and motions,

Seek for what should be acquired,

In learning how to sail the oceans,

To find that sinkings are required.

Carved silhouettes ashen,

Somberly turn glances once wild,

To the tombs of times’ crash-in.

The cries of every once-held child,

In scars of graystone and sin.

O’ those black silent pictures,

Of what can soon or far-off be,

Shown in burnt coal blurs….

The internal imagery,

Of what ever-endures,

As eternal destiny.

K. Aldaya, 7/27/05

Picture:  “Reflection of Death” by Corvinerium on Deviant Art; http://corvinerium.deviantart.com/art/Reflection-Of-Death-355014597

117. Past Clouds

The past o’er hovers,

In clouds of thick smoke.

Cov’ring the sun,

Of futures’ yoke,

Hope: held by gun!

11

If wishes came true,

What man wouldn’t wish,

For azure skies,

Rays of hope to languish?

Dematerialize,

The sadness.

K. Aldaya, 1/28/05

Picture:  Artist Unknown; http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-46dx_VyCBug/Te7mSLsggYI/AAAAAAAAAPw/EzA_lKlvVTs/s1600/11.jpg

109. Seclusion

Girl_Interrupted_Series_lV_by_LivingDeadGurlx

Seclusion.

Years in lone seclusion.

All alone.

Dark, empty intrusion.

Seclusion.

No one to hear the screams,

That echoed,

Off these old roof beams.

Seclusion.

Dwelling in this castle,

Of ancient.

No kind company’s hassle.

Seclusion.

What such a soul would give,

For a voice,

To make the silence live.

Seclusion.

O’ to be cared about.

One small glimpse,

To wipe away kinds’ doubt.

Seclusion.

Ghosts only fill these halls.

Their shadows,

Bolt across the walls.

Seclusion.

Haunted by these shadows,

From the deep,

That speak what ne’er shows.

Seclusion.

Desolate phantoms wail.

Vile, dead hopes.

Time does not avail.

Seclusion.

Out from tower seeing,

For cov’ring,

Grim forest unfreeing.

Seclusion.

Above I oversee,

The mis’ry,

Which is hanging over me.

Seclusion.

The sky is dark and cold,

Faded black,

As a nightmares’ enfold.

Seclusion.

In this place I cry,

“Find me here,

As I here ‘lone, must lie”.

Seclusion.

Eternally lost here,

In castle,

Which in the mind does sear.

Seclusion.

No one to hear each breath,

Keeping me,

From the near land of death.

Seclusion.

In the corner I hide,

Shaking as,

I so often have cried.

Seclusion.

Is where I e’er reside.

K. Aldaya, 12/09/04

Picture: “Girl Interrupted Series IV” by LivingDeadGurlx on Deviant Art; http://www.deviantart.com/art/Girl-Interrupted-Series-lV-50416935

97. Hold the Sorrowful People

Oh ‘God’ so many sad souls there are,

Bring them near despite their wish for far.

Oh ‘God’ up on high,

Hold all the sad and weary nigh.

Oh ‘God’, let them know your face,

Though burdened find eternal grace.

Oh ‘God’ show them heavens’ gates.

An infinite life where true happiness awaits!

K. Aldaya, 11/07/04

58. Black Bird

It comes to me in dead of night when dark dreams flood the mind.

A vision of black in mine eye which sends a shiver through the bones;

A vision to horrify.

It dwells on hill cemetery.

Perched on an old oak tree,

Barely to move; never to fly,

Though screams in stinging undertones a loathsome lullaby.

her-graveyard-gothicolors-with-crows

Staring, though more so, glaring…

Haunting. Watching. Stunning the nerves.

No wish it has to fly,

Do anything more than gaze;

A gaze to damnify.

I know that it doth hate me with a passion few have known;

That’s why it resides on high piercing me with it’s cold stare.

In darkness I lie.

Oh cruel, black bird of night release your ghastly hold.

Oh why? Oh why?

Can’t thou fear anothers’ soul?

Forever night is nigh.

K. Aldaya, 4/25/04

Picture: “Her Graveyard” by Gothicolors Donna Snyder; http://fineartamerica.com/featured/her-graveyard-gothicolors-images.html

52. Lost to the Night

abyss_by_ishutani-d5ztss6

Amid darkness the large oak trees,

Reach out to me in the breeze.

The darkness hovers over my head.

The black clouds continually stomp and tread.

No stars can be seen, nor moon.

I only hope that day come soon.

Lost in black I feel them near,

And hear their screaming in my ear.

The voices that linger in great sadness,

And eternally dwell in darks’ abyss.

I can feel their full heart pain,

And the madness in their brain.

My head is pounding and pounding,

With all the pain resounding.

The dark swallows my last daylight,

And I am lost into the night.

K. Aldaya, 3/23/04

Picture: Abyss by Ishutani on Deviant Art: http://ishutani.deviantart.com; http://th02.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2013/089/8/6/abyss_by_ishutani-d5ztss6.jpg

40. A Familiar Place

aarin-dark-cemetery

I’ve found that no matter how I try to,

I don’t seem to fit in this world that you do.

I’m on an alien world with all of my thoughts;

A place filled with nothings, nevers, and nots.

But this world doesn’t feel foreign to me,

It’s familiar. I know it. See?

You can feel this place, can’t you?

I’m sure there’s a season when you’ve wandered through.

I feel its’ presence always here, inside.

I try to ignore it, but it never budges aside.

I’ve found that in walking a cemetery through,

That I need be there just as the graves do.

Somehow I fit in this other place,

Where I’m still ever waiting for befitting grace.

The freedom for me to connect with your world,

Where I won’t feel that place with retributions aswirled.

I won’t have to feel that a tombstone’s my own,

That my name should be written on an old gray stone.

A stone in that place that plagues me forever.

A living, vexing dream I never can sever.

K. Aldaya, 2/22/04

Picture:  Aarin Dark Cemetery by Nagoth666 on Photobucket; http://s712.photobucket.com/user/nagoth666/media/aarin-dark-cemetery.jpg.html

33. I Will Stand Alone

lonely-skeleton-survivor

I will stand alone with all I’ve known,

For my life is for me,

For only my eyes to see.

I have stood alone with each cry and moan,

Trying hard to forget,

Leaving residue of regret.

I now stand alone with the creaking of each bone.

I try to speak and release, feeling wrong in wanting peace.

I will stand alone ’cause no one’s on my phone,

For I don’t know how to be free,

To express my agony.

I have stood alone with each cry and moan,

For I’m guilty for my feelings,

For feeling my heart’s in peelings.

I now stand alone with all I have known,

For my life is for me.

For me, to see, and be.

K. Aldaya, 3/30/03

Picture:  Artist Unknown; http://www.survival2020.com/wp-content/uploads/lonely-skeleton-survivor.jpg

13. It

depression-hoodie

It’s always there,

Deep, deep, inside.

It’s always where,

It is easy to hide.

In it’s hiding it rests,

Slowly growing; growing.

Passing it’s tests,

To keep going, and going.

Then all at once it erupts,

From being contained so long.

Showing more downs, less ups,

Destroying hearts’ song.

K. Aldaya, 5/29/03

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://media.npr.org/assets/news/2010/01/18/depression-e463a655307ccad3f1e741b74f3193f81620b2c1-s6-c30.jpg