398. I…I Don’t Want to Die

I…I don’t want to die.

“But you are broken, you say?

The only way to fix you,

Is for you to simply die,

And be reborn as someone new.”

I…I don’t want to die.

I know that I am broken,

And that’s all you can see;

Yet, why do I have to die,

For you to be able to love me?

I…I don’t want to die.

Do I really have no worth?

Am I something to be tossed,

And left all alone to die?

Am I truly one of the lost?

I…I don’t want to die.

I just want you to stay here;

To hold me close and tell me,

That I do not have to die,

For you to see me as worthy.

For you to be able to love me…

I…I don’t want to die.

K. Aldaya, 5/29/17

Picture: from Sherlock; http://pharlapcartoonist.tumblr.com/

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287. A Word Is Just a Word

the-wall-between-us-1

Here we are and there you are,

Yet a word is just a word.

Spread through the air and floating there;

They seem to you absurd.

Here I am and there you are,

Yet a word is just a word.

For after they’re sent, without discernment,

They may as well not be heard.

Here we are and there you are,

Yet a word is just a word.

If words were blood, and I wrote in blood,

Would my thoughts still be absurd?

Here I am and there you are,

Yet a word is just a word.

No matter what’s said, or I feel is bled…

From my veins…you see a word.

Here we are and there you are,

Yet a word is just a word.

I beg for help but you can’t help,

When a word is simply heard.

Here I am and there you are,

Yet a word is just a word.

Save me! Please save me! Yet you can’t save me…

For a word is just a word.

Here we are and there you are.

Yet a word is just a word.

No one can feel or know a word’s real,

Until their heart has heard.

Here I am and there you are,

Yet a word is just a word.

You can’t save me, and cannot help me,

For each word is just a word…

To you, my pain’s absurd.

K. Aldaya, 3/3/15

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://www.layoutsparks.com/1/56610/the-wall-between-us-1.html

267. Faithless

Captive_Angel_Wallpaper_lrcv9

Salvation,

Does it exist?

For some maybe…but yet?

I fear there is no hope for me;

For I cannot forget.

Salvation,

Fades like fog,

From the day which journeys on.

I know no one will save me.

I step and step along.

Salvation,

Is a ghost.

I’ve heard it exists yet still,

I can’t see or feel its’ form;

It simply haunts my will.

Salvation.

Tell me how?

I know that I’m to save myself.

Yet, how….Oh God! How?

How does one save ones’-self?

Salvation.

Where and how?

I’m lost and I’m so scared.

How does one fight against ones’-self?

And come out unimpaired?

Salvation.

If I kill.

If part of me just dies away.

Would I still be ‘me’ anymore?

Or would I die as well that day?

Salvation,

Does it exist?

To me it is a mocking wraith.

I’m not capable of salvation.

No, I do not have your faith!

K. Aldaya, 4/15/14

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.scenicreflections.com/files/Captive_Angel_Wallpaper_lrcv9.jpg