351. Victims of the Sun

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Near and yet so far away,

The pangs of love cut through.

We are only victims of the day;

Of the sun which reaches through,

And sets our hearts on fire.

Hearts rage in the blazing heat,

Pulsing with fresh desires.

Will we able to stop our feet,

From burning in these fires?

When hearts so oft’ rouse our feet?

Near and yet so very far.

Hearts smolder in the sun.

We turn away as our insides char,

For we’ve no choice but to shun,

What will only leave a scar.

K. Aldaya, 5/10/16

Picture:  Original Source Unknown; http://divinetrinitytarot.tumblr.com/post/135661808106/happy-summer-solstice-to-my-followers-in-the

350. Murderer!

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You asked me what I want from you,

I’m happy to oblige.

I simply want my soul which you…

Massacred!

You laugh, for you know you can’t bring,

Anything back from death;

Because once you murder something…

It is gone.

You know you can’t change what you’ve done,

And what you never did.

You walk headfirst into the sun…

Blindly on.

Why did you always walk on by,

While I bled under your feet?

You knew my soul was going to die…

And let it.

So, don’t ask me what I want.

You know it is no use.

My soul left long ago to haunt…

Your conscience.

I want my soul back! Give it back!!

I’m hollow bones and skin!

Why did you let me slowly die….

In your sin?

K. Aldaya, 4/25/16

Picture:  http://favim.com/image/35911/

349. Where You Are

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If I climbed the tallest mountain,

Would I ever reach your heart?

Can I follow you to where you are,

Where we’ll never be apart?

If I traveled to the stars,

And found the universe;

Could I find space next to you,

And within your soul immerse?

If I found the answers,

To meaning and existence,

Would our destinies be one strand,

Of time’s web, rich and immense?

If I can’t climb that mountain,

Or search the twinkling heavens;

Or if I cannot give you,

The peace vast knowledge sends…

Will you remember that I existed,

If I can’t reach where you are?

Will you care that I had reached for you,

And traveled long and far?

Will you think of me sometimes?

K. Aldaya, 4/20/16

Picture: Uploaded by Helena888 on Favim; http://favim.com/image/3729332/

348. Drowning on the Surface

1

How is it the more I speak,

The more I feel misunderstood?

What’s the point of speaking,

When it never does me any good?

Why do I even bother,

What can be said or done?

No one wants deep relationships,

And I’m tired of every shallow one.

I have no energy to waste,

On trivial conversations.

There’s no worth for me in social conventions.

I’d rather dwell on inner contemplations.

I wish I didn’t have to speak,

When there’s no point to anyway.

No one listens or understands,

Or cares to try as they may…

To know another soul,

And connect beyond the skin.

It hurts too much to try again,

Just to drown once more in the skin.

K. Aldaya, 4/14/16

Picture: Photo from Google; Originally from Video: http://www.shutterstock.com/video/clip-9892391-stock-footage-lonely-girl-at-rain-looks-at-dirty-forest-pond-worried-girl-sitting-with-hands-over-head-stares-to.html

347. Toward Home

The fire is set…let it rain.

Sprinklers on the ceiling spit,

Out the waters of the sky,

Which stands above the heads that sit,

Under this big white roof and cry.

Some are looking at the floor,

Thinking of their yesteryears,

And how time passed by so fast.

In the joys of their many years,

Their hope and love had grown so vast.

Some are looking at the walls,

Pondering the hour and day.

Will someone come visit them,

And help them bide the hours away?

Will any out there think of them?

Some are looking at the ceiling,

Dreaming of drifting clouds of white,

In warm, pleasant days of summer.

The beep of a bike horn stirs their sight,

As they ride ‘neath azure skies of summer…

Toward home.

K. Aldaya, 4/12/16

346. Silent Existence

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Silent. In the silence.

The lack of voice is violent.

Hearts pray, internally,

While hands commit their violence.

Manic. In the madness.

Feet flutter in the panic.

Faces rise, to shade their eyes,

For the sun reveals their sadness.

Reverent. In the reverence.

Souls worship Earth resplendent.

Life lives, yet never gives,

Validity of descendance.

Silent. In the silence.

Even in stillness it is violent.

Mind’s mind, though never fine,

Their way to condone the violence.

Existence stands silent.

K. Aldaya, 4/8/16

Picture: From Wallpaper Vortex; http://www.imgbase.info/images/safe-wallpapers/digital_art/sci_fi/39898_sci_fi_sci_fi_city.jpg

345. Beware!

wpzm0gg

There dwells a righteous anger,

In the heart of every poet.

Let no man make a wager,

That will lead him to his fall.

Deep souls are a danger!

Be careful, dare the words ye read,

Become thy epitaph,

Above an early grave which reads:

“Oh dear, ye fell too deep…

Thy former self concedes.”

Pray to God on bended knees,

That the depth and violence of the waves,

Will not drag ye down into the seas,

Or the melody of the siren’s song:

Enchant, and thy soul seize.

Make thy choice and sail on,

Or to the land lay claim.

We all must choose to journey on.

Explore or stay the path.

Live life before it’s gone.

Ah, the poet will ever sail,

On a sea of righteous anger;

Searching for another tale,

Of the ocean’s phantom depths,

And lost souls at sea which wail…

To be heard and live again,

And the waters open wide,

Revealing the restless pen,

Which writes upon the weary bones,

Of the Ancient Mariner’s men.

Beware the depths, young sailor!

Many have sailed these seas,

Only to find themselves on the shore,

Of their own mortality…

Enraged forevermore!

For there dwells a righteous anger,

In the heart of every poet.

Let no man make a wager,

That will lead him to his fall.

Deep souls are a danger!

K. Aldaya, 4/6/16

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; Posted by Fujiibear 2/3/2015 on Fasttech; https://www.fasttech.com/forums/off-topic/t/1271251/gifs/93

344. Random Thought #16

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The graveyards remind me how far up I’ve come.

The headstones behind me: what years have become.

I still feel at home though can live beyond it.

My old catacomb now ‘lone…remains moonlit.

I hear the depths echo endless implores to return,

But not yet…not yet.

I’m here for you.  I won’t leave you now.

I’ve avowed to be with you.  My soul to endow,

To loving and staying…living on somehow.

I waited many a night next to the crypt,

That shadowed the light from dawns’ cup a-tipped.

Pouring jagged rays: sharp to cut through,

I turned back a-ways to solus I was used to;

And now I hear the depths echo endless implores to return,

But not yet…not yet.

K. Aldaya, ’05

Picture:  From Phantom of the Opera; http://fallenfay-l-h.tumblr.com/post/112922767865

343. Ghosts Are Some of My Best Friends

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Ghosts are some of my best friends,

Though I’m not sure they want to be;

I certainly don’t care for their games,

Or their endless mockery.

They follow whispering in my ears:

“Restore my sanity!”

Ghosts are some of my best friends,

They’re the best at hide and seek.

No matter where I run and hide,

They always manage to silently sneak,

And scare me half to death…

Yep, winning’s always bleak.

Ghosts are some of my best friends,

Though I really wish they’d leave.

I listen to their moans and cries,

Hoping they will grant reprieve,

And scurry off to heaven or such…

Yet nope, they never really leave.

Ghosts are some of my best friends,

They make me want to die.

Would they disappear if I drown myself,

Or is that just a lie?

Are the ghosts still part of me,

Or will they never die?

Ghosts are some of my best friends,

Though I don’t want them to be.

I worry they have found new life,

In the echoes of eternity,

And fear at death they’ll hold me, screaming:

“Where’s our sanity!!”

K. Aldaya, 4/4/16

Picture: Originally posted on Tumblr; http://weheartit.com/entry/group/11322498#

342. In Dreams

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I dreamt about you last night,

So I didn’t want to wake,

To the first rays of the morning sun;

My eyes they could not shake,

And open to the dawn.

Why do you visit me in sleep?

Is there something you must say?

I don’t mind if you say nothing,

If you will only stay…

With me, ’til I wake.

How long have I sat alone,

In this house: aged and empty?

Longing for footsteps which prelude,

The presence of your company…

Within my heart.

I dreamt about you last night.

You sat down by my side,

And as we exchanged looks and pleasantries,

I couldn’t help feel an ache inside,

For the dreams which must always end.

K. Aldaya, 4/2/16

Picture: From Heartstrings kdrama; Uploaded by Toksuri on Tumblr; http://toksuri.tumblr.com/post/71207903971/love-backhug-moments

341. The War for Survival

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The skies have grown black near the sea this eve.

Even the ocean, muddied, is fit to receive…

The death with follows the tornadoes of war,

Which spread from the shorefront to the steps of each door.

Waves crash and sting the eyes of the weary,

Who stroll through the streets as ghosts: silent and eerie.

Bodies float away and one man with a clipboard,

Counts each one seen with his pen like a sword.

The shelters are gone. There is nowhere to run,

And each man carries his own personal gun;

To fight back the tide of inevitable gloom.

Yet how many bullets will save even one from their doom?

The world is awash with an ocean of change,

Which washes all men and turns them deranged.

They bury the dead in mass graves without markers,

Then walk off with the smiles which living desires.

For who can keep walking on the bones of the fallen,

Without falling too deep into the sickness of men?…

Who have fallen before us begging for mercy;

And died at the gunpoint of their own misery.

The masses walk on with guns in both hands.

There’s no time for thinking. No time to make plans.

Is this war really worth it?…The bodies and the blood,

Of all the life of this planet buried in the mud?

The war continues…there’s no more to be said.

Shoot down your brother so you don’t end up dead.

Yet how will you save your soul from your sins.

For when your body soon rots the real fight begins.

K. Aldaya, 3/15/16

Picture: Originally posted by Gloomy Rules on Tumblr; http://giphy.com/gifs/shark-attack-ocean-storm-thunder-gifs-dOCG720yNqAms

 

 

340. Random Thought #15

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You interrupted my thoughts, now I can’t think anymore.

Your tongue has poisoned the silence again…malignantly confusing once more.

Why can’t I just be me? Let me be who I am and stop!

Stop trying to change who I am, for I can only be true to what lies within.

My mind, heart, and soul are intricately interwoven within.

As many have so said before, “Thou must be thyself in truth”.

The drops of blood which through these veins pour, are a flowing, living proof.

K. Aldaya, ’05

Picture: Posted by Strangers in a Dark Paradise on Tumblr;  http://strangersinadarkparadise.tumblr.com/post/105521602429

339. Down the Rabbit Hole

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Down the tunnel you go.

Do you really want to see what’s at the end?

Be careful what you wish for,

For it may well be forever, my friend.

Do you really want to know,

How deep the tunnel goes?

Must your really slide into it,

To find out where it goes?

The tunnel may lead to Nirvana,

Or possibly to Hell.

I’m not sure I care for either destination,

Yet for you I will hope it ends well.

Down the tunnel you go.

Must you really know what’s at the end?

Eternity’s never-ending you know!

I will miss you forever, my friend.

K. Aldaya, 3/14/16

Picture: Posted on Tumblr by goyoungfree; http://goyoungfree.tumblr.com/post/70635205534/babe-take-me-to-wonderland

338. Random Thought #14

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Today she’s so happy she just can’t describe it.

Life seems so perfect, …yet just doesn’t fit.

She comes home and looks into the mirror-land.

She’s happy and knows it, but the shadows are still at hand.

Backward through time she floats on her own,

To the home she’s outrun, where the ghosts are her own.

The walls are closing in, all around, and within.

She can’t escape from herself…

So she breaks the mirror.

K. Aldaya, ’05

Picture: Originally posted by http://zoombies-ate-my-neighbors.tumblr.com/; http://favim.com/image/2281637/

337. Just So You Know

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Just so you know, my life matters too.

I may not be rich or know high people,

Yet I think I should have the chance to do,

Whatever I want to.

Just so you know, my life matters as well.

I may not have some great job or position,

Yet I think I should have the chance to tell…

You, to go to hell.

Just so you know my life matters also.

I may not be like or think like you,

Yet I’m not going to kowtow.

You’re not my king you know!

Just so you know, my life matters too.

I may be poor and no one special,

Yet I want to be someone who,

Gets to live life too.

K. Aldaya, 3/9/16

Picture: Street Art on Twitter; https://twitter.com/googlestreetart/status/573476917074116608

336. Lying Next to You

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Sometimes late at night,

When I’m lying next to you.

I’ll close-in nice and tight,

And listen to your heart beat;

And tears fall down my face,

As I think: “Too good to be true”.

Will you be gone tomorrow without a trace,

When I wake up from this dream?

I’ll close my eyes and etch you out,

Into my memory.

So one day when this dream runs out,

I’ll remember how love felt–

When you were lying next to me.

K. Aldaya, 3/7/16

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://myuntildawnhappyplace.tumblr.com/post/133327709129/preferences-sleeping-positions

335. Random Thought #13

haunted path

You told me to say goodbye to yesterday.

You told me it’s just a ghost that haunts my way,

And today I saw it walk across my street;

And today it’s presence reminded me,

That we can’t run from where we’ve come,

Without growing, in the knowing, of what’s been done.

I see you…the ghost of yesterday…

K. Aldaya, ’05

Picture: Uploaded by BonnieBleuVa on Photobucket; http://s217.photobucket.com/user/BonnieBleuVa/media/My%20photos/1spookywoods12936969-lg.png.html

334. Night Dreams

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The foggy night is cool and glistens,

With the rains of yesterday,

And I find myself saddened again,

By the loneliness of it’s gray.

Yet, I know this is my hour of choice.

The peaceful and tranquil hour,

When most humans are found fast asleep,

And I feel most safe within my tower…

To look out into the universe,

And wish upon a star or moon,

For their beauty to become an eternal song,

So I may forever hum out their tune.

I long to stay and sing out,

Into the silence of eternity;

Though it makes me sad to be alone,

It’s far better with no company.

The stars will hear and twinkle bright,

And the moon will brightly beam.

No matter how dark and lonely the night,

It still can feel like a dream.

I’ve yet to meet one human being,

Who cares to hear my song or voice;

Instead my voice is ripped from me,

And the soul is left no choice…

It runs away and hides behind,

Cordialities and facades.

The body lingers devoid of life,

At the edge of gambled-odds.

There is no dream unbroken by,

The realities of humankind.

Will we ever be safe in each other’s arms,

Or truly understand another’s mind?

Until that day or maybe never,

I will hope and dream at night.

Alone I will sing to the distant moon,

And when tears fall they’ll express the flight,

Of my soul into the skies.

K. Aldaya, 2/25/16

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.playbuzz.com/shira10/22-unbelievable-facts-about-the-human-body-that-will-blow-your-mind

332. Drama Queen

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Drama is your middle name,

And Queen’s your sur-title.

You play folks like a fiddle, dear.

Reigning unopposed is vital.

If anyone dares compete,

For your title or your fame,

You enforce that no one cares at all…

Life goes on just the same;

Then switch to a better topic:

How much harder your life is…

How kind you are to grant an ear,

To pathetic and weak misses.

You broke a nail yesterday.

Why is no one crying?

You looked quite pale just last week.

Shouldn’t someone be dying…

To ask about you and offer pity?

To mourn your bitter fate?

Commoners don’t have a coffer so deep,

And full of needs so great!

You think: “How dare their selfish tears reveal your painted roses.

Your roses should be a bloody red.

How dare their pain betray your position.

Off with their head!”

K. Aldaya, 2/13/16

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://weheartit.com/entry/34173206

331. Bitter Reminiscence

Follow-Your-Dreams

How did the dreams of youth become,

So deep a pain inside?

How did I become so numb,

To the dreams once held with pride?

My dreams were once everything;

They helped me to cope,

And with every song that I would sing,

I’d feel a renewed hope.

How is it what once brought joy,

Brings now only pain?

The songs of youth soft and coy,

Sound out now as a bitter refrain.

I can not help how I feel.

I can’t change what’s happened;

Yet I sometimes still wonder how it would feel,

To have followed those dreams to the end.

K. Aldaya, 2/5/16

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.iamjoelbrown.com/motivation/16-reasons-why-its-so-important-to-follow-your-dreams/

330. Lolita

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I like cake, and I like candy.

Blades for cutting wrists are handy.

I like treats, and I like frosting.

No one knows what childhood’s costing.

I like balloons, and I like games.

Obligatory silence maims.

I like dolls, and I like tea-time;

And touching children is a crime.

I like toys, and I like cupcakes.

This world is full of frauds and fakes.

I like pink, and I like parties;

And rapists rape children with ease.

I like frills, and I like laces.

Shut the door and close the cases.

I like carousels.  I like bows…

Scarred-wrists dressed in lolita clothes.

I like teddies and lullabies…

For they cover the shame-filled cries,

Of innocence’s homicide.

K. Aldaya, 1/20/16

Picture: By milk-rose on Tumblr; http://milk-rose.tumblr.com/post/21632099649

329. Asphalt

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I can’t think,…my brain is failing me.

What do you think? Am I at fault?

My body fails me,….I can’t move it right.

What would you think of me if I just lie on this asphalt?

It’s said control is illusory,

Yet losing control is insanity;

So what would you think if I lie here?

What would you think if I don’t disagree?

If I lie here and let it all go…

If I just stay here, and give up control?

Would it be crazy to stop fighting it?

Would it be crazy to accept no control?

I can’t think,…am I at fault?

Should I keep trying to control illusion,

Or should I just lie here,… on the asphalt?

K. Aldaya, 1/18/16

Picture: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FE-v0HVW-UY; https://www.pinterest.com/pin/343118065337589293/

 

328. Random Thought #11

Take my hand. I wish to leave…

This asylum of white.

Hold on tight…I seek reprieve.

Let’s escape into the night.

Take my hand, and lead me home,

To walls of brick and stone.

I’ve always wanted a home,

Where I don’t live alone.

Take my hand, and hold me tight,

For I fear humankind;

But it’s okay…it’s all alright…

In the world within my mind.

K. Aldaya, 1/7/16

327. Let Us All Eat Cake

teaparty

Forgive me, but I must leave now.

Time’s too precious to waste.

Life drifts by us even now.

We should all make haste,

And move toward our own happiness,

Whate’er that might well be.

If it harms none, and makes pain less,

No one should disagree.

I don’t have time to conversate,

On things which can’t be changed.

We’re all stuck here, so celebrate!

Tea time has been arranged.

Sip tea with me, or don’t…who cares?

I’ll drink tea for us both and sing.

No one cares how anyone else fairs,

And each has their own song to sing.

O’ Happy Birthday to us all.

We all were born,… Hurray!

All of us were young and small,

Then grow old and die one day.

So live like Kings and Queens, my dears…

Wear opulence on your sleeve.

Who cares of the rejection of your peers;

If they care not of your joy they should leave.

So forgive me, but I must leave now,

And put on my bows and frilly dress.

I have a tea party to attend.

Life’s too short to eat cake any less.

K. Aldaya, 1/4/16

Picture: By KellyAliceLoliCotton on Deviant Art; http://kellyalicelolicotton.deviantart.com/art/Welcome-To-My-Teaparty-273402429

326. You Gave Me the Key to Your Door

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You gave me the key to your door,

Yet I know not what to do,

For I lack the courage to use it,

And conviction to walk on through.

I know I’ve always been a fool,

And as a fool I well may die,

Lacking courage and perseverance,

For deep down I am but a lie.

I am but a broken shell,

Of skin and self-defeat,

Whose eyes bleed out realities,

Most find too indiscreet.

Doors may lead to anywhere:

To heaven or to hell.

Yet for me the path is set.

There is no escape from hell.

I long to fly on angel wings,

Mortal souls to save and bless,

Though if an angel I once was,

I can no longer recall the caress…

Of hope and kindness on a soul;

Of trust and innocence.

For who would trust that a heaven’s door,

Would appear in hell’s province?

O, it is but a mirage of what might well have been,

If only sins remained with the sinners,

Instead of defiling all men.

It only takes one demon spawn,

To drag more angels down,

And strip them of their salvation,

And choke them ’til they drown….

On the apathy of the masses,

Drunk on ignorance and pride,

Who never really care to look,

Through their doors to the outside.

When angels look away and hide,

For fear of falling too,

How are the fallen not to fear,

What even the angels do?

You gave me the key to your door,

Yet I know not what to do,

For I lack the courage to be let down again,

And conviction to reach for you…

When you’re not even looking.

K. Aldaya, 1/2/16

Picture: http://www.novahtijusticesummit.com;  http://static1.squarespace.com/static/551f2c5ee4b07d5916c70972/t/559406d9e4b0fc1e2ed46e37/1435764557634/Girl+outside+door+2.jpg?format=2500w

325. Viral

Thank God they are crazy, right?

Or then you’d have to deal with it all:

The facts of life and death of souls…

Your own mortality, and lack of control.

Give them pills and call them insane.

Tell them their brains are at fault.

Don’t deal or learn from humanities’ mistakes.

Invalidate, manipulate, kill, and assault.

Thank God they were born defective,

So the truth you’ll never have to face:

That people like you fill the madhouses,

With the silenced voices of a viral race.

K. Aldaya, 12/28/15

324. Tragedy Incarnate

michael lloyd cemetery

I am the ghost of who I used to be,

Who is haunting this world now, for eternity.

I’ve lived a million lifetimes. I feel it in my bones;

The aching of sore fingers spent manuscripting tomes.

Stories of humanity… of tragedies and victories;

Of poverty and destruction. Wealth and vanities.

Will the story ever end? And what will be it’s ending?

I’m tired of thinking and repeating. My soul needs time for mending.

You and I, we are the story of the universe.

We’ve written it out, in our blood accursed.

Will time end and its’ confines of aching bone and skin.

Prisoners: most ignorant of the cage we continue to live in?

We all write on…another chapter for the universe to read;

So it can expand endlessly, while we (mere) mortals just bleed.

Bleed planets, and bleed the stars…Our souls are etched with the scars,

Of the universes’ beauty;

Written on each gravestone, and carved from fleshly duty.

K. Aldaya, 12/16/15

Picture: By Michael Lloyd ; http://www.lightstalking.com/the-shark-tank-and-what-you-missed-this-week-on-light-stalking/

323. I’m Searching for a Memento

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I’m searching for a memento:

Something I can save,

So one day when I grow old,

I’ll remember what you gave.

I’m searching for a memory:

A thought or feeling pleasant,

Of when you were part of my life,

To sneak into the present.

I’m searching for a piece of you,

That I can hold on to;

So one day when you are gone,

I’ll still have part of you.

I’m searching for some concrete proof,

That life is truly real;

That knowing you bore some gift,

That time cannot repeal.

I’m searching for a memento,

To hang upon my lifeline;

So some day when I am old,

I can treasure every line…..

Made from smiles of remembrance.

K. Aldaya, 12/6/15

Picture: By Andre Govia on Flickr; https://www.flickr.com/photos/andregovia/9443446927/in/photostream/

322. Smile City

sadness_loneliness_longing_night_city_roof_railing_lighting_a_girl_desktop

I walk the lonely neon streets,

Of my minds’ perceptioned-city:

Constructed experiences,

On frames of personality.

It glows here with electric-life,

And yet all is calm and silent.

The windows in each skyscraper,

Are on all the time to torment.

For all that keeps me company,

Are the shadows in the darkness;

They wander ’bout the city streets,

With motives one can’t quite assess.

O’ the night is never-ending,

And sanity is not welcome.

For the only ways to pass time,

Require certain levels of numb.

The cityscape gets dull and drab,

And monotony fosters art.

Splash of red here.  A mural there.

Blood stains make for good tragic art;

And when life gets too tiresome,

There are always things to distract.

Just climb atop a tall building,

And jump off to make an impact!

One must always make sure to smile…

Or at least wear one anyway;

‘Cause come on, what else can you do?

Has it not always been this way?

The world is built on blood and tears,

Though as they say, “Just smile, it’s life!”

We haunt this endless night alone,

Smiling on with the help of a knife.

K. Aldaya, 10/10/15

Picture:  from HD Wallpapershttp://www.hdwallpapers.im/sadness_loneliness_longing_night_city_roof_railing_lighting_a_girl_desktop-wallpaper.html

321. Fraudulency

tortured_angel_by_tailsfails-d47q0z6 (1)

Mess with my head,

Oh my, I try,

To not be lead,

By the facade.

Yet my, oh my,

You love to play,

The game, and blame…

Me right away,

For your own words.

You shame and maim.

Always at fault.

I cry, and die,

As a result;

And you thrive on…

My fault. My fault…

That I believe,

You care, and dare,

To wear on sleeve,

A heart that bleeds…

Despair.  Despair:

Induced by trust.

You plod, and trod,

On faith, and rust,

Idols of hope.

My God! My God!

You’re such a fraud!!

K. Aldaya, 9/28/15

Picture: “Tortured Angel” by TAILSfails at Deviant Art.  http://tailsfails.deviantart.com/art/Tortured-angel-254836338

320. Wash Me

59ec4e1b2c03736fa08cd97ddf1c7525

Wash me in cleansing waters.

Purify my aching brain.

Rinse out all these memories,

So I can start again.

There’s not enough water on Earth,

To wash away my shame;

The only thing it’ll wash away,

Is blood shed in my name.

Wash me in cleansing waters.

I cannot stand this pain.

My skin is burning underneath,

And it’s driving me insane.

K. Aldaya, 9/18/15

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://t-ears.tumblr.com/post/25614458678

319. A Story of Youth

kids_victorian_pic

Delivered in the Winter,

Of 1869,

Without mother or father.

I entered the world alone,

And was placed up for a home.

Men and women entered,

To stand and contemplate,

Whether it would be absurd,

To obtain something like me;

Many parents and kids could not agree.

Then after months, one day,

A family saw me,

And resolved they’d indeed pay…

My way into their fine life;

A daughter, father, and loving wife.

Days slipped by without thought,

Or a care in the world,

And soon those days were forgot,

In all of the excitement.

In comfort each day was spent.

I had a family,

And spent each day playing,

With my sweet sister, Emily.

We were best friends forever.

Our bond no one could sever.

We played dress-up and sang,

Of the delight of youth.

Serving black tea and meringue,

In gardens in the Springtime.

Life felt loving and sublime.

Change is a part of life,

And though I knew this well.

It still cut me like a knife,

When Emily ignored me;

And spent no more time with me.

One day in our bedroom,

She saw me, and she sighed.

Then kicked me into a tomb;

And there within that closet,

I sat and cried ’til sunset.

Soon it became routine,

To be hit and disdained;

And no one cared she was mean.

For I was not born to be,

A blood member of the family.

Then a brother was born,

And he would hurt me too.

No one cared my heart was torn;

And no one would rescue me,

Or heal my battered body.

Emily, in Winter,

Many long years later,

Looked at me, and I at her.

With my eyes I cried to her:

“Don’t you miss how things once were?”

“Emily, I love you.”

“The only love I’ve known,

Came from my friendship with you.”

“My only family’s here.”

“So please do not leave me here!”

She reached her hand to mine,

And walked to the window.

Then her eyes returned to mine,

And with disgust she pushed me;

Without time to scream, or plea.

I could no longer feel.

My face was lined with scars.

My legs broke from the ordeal,

And yet I begged forgiveness,

For being born so worthless.

All I wanted was love.

To give and receive it.

For a moment we felt love,

Before expectations changed.

After all: Society’s deranged!

Love grows and fades away.

Nothing lasts forever.

Beauty and youth fade away,

And a souls’ worth goes with it.

The world yells to reject it!

Out with old. In with new.

So the story still goes.

In time, spurned; replaced with the new.

When the novelty runs out,

All things are, like trash, thrown out.

I died in the Winter,

Of 1883.

When my kind, loving sister,

Was no longer young and small,

And too old for childish things, like me, her porcelain doll.

K. Aldaya, 9/17/15

Picture: Painter unknown;  http://www.edmondhistory.org/events/victorian-tea/

318. Privation

roving_life_by_christine_muraton-d5asr2l

I don’t want it to end,

Though I know it cannot last.

I can’t stay and pretend,

That this is going to last.

I can’t hold you ’til the end.

In this moment of protection,

Holding tight against your form,

An internal interjection,

Rages on into a storm:

Imbuing sound dejection.

I can not hold you here with me.

I can not hold you down.

You weren’t meant to live for me.

I’ll only bring you down.

No love is ever free.

I long to lie against you,

For all time, just us two,

Feeling safe beside you;

Yet I know this can’t come true.

I won’t let you stay here too.

Fly out on your wings,

And I will be here waiting.

You’ve those resplendent wings,

So there’s no use debating.

You were meant for better things.

I’ll wake early each morning,

And sit beside the window,

Hoping time will one day bring…

You back here below;

In a distant Spring.

—I long for your touch again.

I long to feel your shelter.

It’s raining outside again.

As my tears run helter-skelter,

I etch them onto paper with pen.

Forgive me, I am weak.

I know it can not be;

Yet my heart continues to seek,

The comfort of your body.

Now all is dark and bleak.

Days slip by carelessly,

Forgetting mortal lives,

As I sit here dreaming endlessly,

Of former days and lives,

When you were next to me.

The hour has grown late,

And these cold hands are weary.

I know not the day or date,

Only that this night is eerie,

And tonight I meet my fate.

I leave here in this place,

In the countryside of the living,

My last words of embrace.

Some crimes find no forgiving,

But love still pleads its’ case;

And even if for one brief day,

Love is held onto,

When it is lost one day,

It still holds onto you,

Giving you reason to pray.

I didn’t want it to end there.

You were all that brought me comfort,

Though I knew I could never have lived there,

With myself, were you to avert,

Your fate for the welfare,

Of one mere fallen angel.

K. Aldaya, 9/11/15

Picture: “Roving Life” by Christine Muraton on Deviant Art; http://christine-muraton.deviantart.com/art/Roving-life-320468493

317. Cosmic Sky Seas

sun-clouds-31r

I long to swim in the white mists of the sky.

Dive into those wispy waves.

Soak my body in the atmosphere.

Sink deep…and high.

I long to submerge into crystalline skies.

Feel the touch of transcendence.

Floating and descending within waves,

Of buoyant sighs.

I long to immerse in empyrean heights.

Lie on back and levitate,

Upon the skin of a universe;

And drown in the sights,

Of our cosmic sky seas.

K. Aldaya, 9/05/15

Picture:  http://jinqiaojs.com/sun-clouds-03s/download-sun-clouds-31r

316. Curl Up in the Corner, Dear

maxresdefault2

Curl up in the corner, dear,

And cover your ears in vain.

You cannot hide from the pain.

This world is made of fear.

Curl up in the corner, dear,

And hide from searching hands.

Blind your eyes behind hair-strands,

And pray to disappear.

Curl up in the corner, dear,

And close those teary eyes.

Most things seen and said are lies,

To lead the naive near.

Curl up in the corner, dear,

For hands were made to punish;

And skin and bones to ravish,

In treachery severe.

Curl up in the corner, dear,

For certainty’s a lie.

They will not care if you die,

Or if you persevere.

Curl up in the corner, dear,

And cover your ears in vain;

For a world, it is insane,

Where sanity breeds fear.

K. Aldaya, 9/2/15

Picture: Found on youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJarvZMi0gU; http://i.ytimg.com/vi/lJarvZMi0gU/maxresdefault.jpg

315. The Bed

fire_by_freaky__like__vivi-d5sxsac

The bed is made of lies and fire,

Though it does not burn to ash,

And upon it lies lustful desire,

And lost souls under lash.

Bodies burn engulfed in flame,

Forever stoking the blaze.

The babies, crawling, are the blame;

Igniting with their gaze.

The fire sparks from inside,

Childhood’s glowing domicile,

Of doors which lead to hell and abide,

In the darkness of denial.

The flames cannot be quenched with tears.

The fire once set, burns on.

For those in hell are the mutineers,

Who refuse to lie –and yawn,

And sleep in ignorance.

K. Aldaya, 8/3/15

Gif:  “Fire” by Freaky–Like–Vivi on Deviant Art;  http://freaky–like–vivi.deviantart.com;  http://freaky–like–vivi.deviantart.com/art/Fire-350936436

314. The Sorceress

600d6060348cee5d33ff07e042e49b56

They say she is a Goddess,

And that the Gods she hears,

Though if you were to ask her,

She’d say, “Listen with your ears”.

The Earth is full of Spirits,

And their voices echo.

If you’re still and silent,

You may learn to hear, and know;

That there is life around you,

In every flower and tree.

In every bird soaring the skies.

In every buzzing bee.

She prophesies true beauty,

In the songs she sings each day,

To the universes’ melody,

Which holds her in its’ sway.

They say she is a Sorceress,

Whose voice divines the fates,

Though if you were to ask her,

She’d say she,”Simply narrates”.

For the story is being told,

In all of creation,

And if you were to listen,

You’d see all things have relation.

They say she is an enchantress,

Whose incantations hex,

Though if you’d only listen,

You’d hear the Analects:

Of nature and existence,

Of beautiful complexities;

Revelations and connections,

Which sing upon the breeze.

K. Aldaya, 7/30/15

Picture: Photo for Anna Sui Collection for O’Neill; https://instagram.com/p/1bMmWgJTaP/

313. Eternal Light

underwater-sunlight-takau99

The light streams down,

And reaches out to me,

Like the hand of a God,

Painting destiny.

Oh, what I would do,

To reach and clasp that light!

The touch of heaven on skin:

Warm and ember-bright.

If only I had wings,

I’d fly into the sky,

To destiny, immortality,

On an etheric lullaby.

The light shines down,

And reaches out to me,

And though I sink, I sing,

And it ripples,…into eternity.

K. Aldaya, 7/24/15

Picture: takau99: https://www.flickr.com/photos/thailandbeach/; http://fineartamerica.com/featured/underwater-sunlight-takau99.html

312. I Just Need You to Hold Me

Hug-Day-70

I just need you to hold me,

Please don’t say anything.

Just put your arms around me.

I need to feel your warmth.

My soul shivers inside me.

Please won’t you be still?

And just hold onto me;

Then it will be okay.

I just need you to hold me,

Without a word or thought.

Your heart beats against me,

And helps me feel alive.

K. Aldaya, 7/13/15

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://www.graphics20.com/quotes/2013/01/page/111/

311. Blind

art-artistic-beautiful-bizarre-Favim.com-1861935

Eyes see, they don’t perceive.

Your eyes cry, but you won’t hear.

Eyes are blind to conclusions;

As the head will refuse to peer,

Where its’ truths lead to confusions…

And spill out bloody tears,

From acknowledgments’ contusions.

Eyes see, they don’t conceive.

Your eyes cry, but you ignore,

Observations which conflict,

With who (you feel) you are at your core;

And question what you constrict,

To the foot of reality’s door.

Your ‘facts’ they are too strict.

Knock-knock. Will you open the door?

K. Aldaya, 7/11/15

Picture: Photographer Unknown; http://favim.com/image/1861935/

310. Gypsy Heart

bohemian-decorations-lace-on-trees-lovely-lace-wedding-pinterest

My heart, it is a nomad who wanders to and fro;

Forever seeking that unnamed place where it longs to go.

My heart, it is a traveler of days and endless hours,

Searching for the budding rose among times’ wilting flowers.

My heart, it is a gypsy dancing beneath the moon;

Dreaming of new heavens found to the beating of its’ tune.

My heart, it is a woodland elf who sings out to the trees,

Of its’ aching urge to float out as a leaf upon the breeze.

K. Aldaya, 7/9/15

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; http://weddbook.com/media/2067856/bohemian-decorations-lace-on-trees-lovely-lace-wedding-pinterest

309. You (Yes, You) Are Special

7008550-mood-girl-kid-joy-happiness-photo

I’ve heard it said many times before,

That life has no point and that therefore,

People are dust and to dust they return;

And there is nothing more.

I refuse to believe that this is right,

And I’m probably a fool to hope outright,

That people have spirits, and spirits they’ll be,

When on winds their dust takes flight.

You are the first and the last, in the end.

You exist and there is no need to defend…

Your reason for being, or what makes you special;

For your life is a miracle, my friend!

In all the universe.  In all time and space.

There will only ever be one you with that face:

To feel the sun, and to ponder the stars.

A precious new form of the perplexing human race.

K. Aldaya, 6/29/15

Picture: Photographer Unknown; Uploaded by Veinalldum on 7-themes.com; http://7-themes.com/7008550-mood-girl-kid-joy-happiness-photo.html

308. Infinite Love

768227

The stars beam in your eyes,

And twinkle in my heart.

My soul made precious in your eyes,

Becomes eternal art.

One day when those stars go out,

And eternity we greet.

I know without a single doubt,

Our starlit souls will meet.

And embrace the unending light,

Which beamed in love and pain,

To blaze out into the night:

A star in the endless domain.

For all the mortals who remain,

To find hope in their darkest night.

K. Aldaya, 6/1/15

Picture:  Photographer Unknown; https://p.gr-assets.com/540×540/fit/hostedimages/1380397891/768227.jpg

306. Concrete Dreamland

europolis

The neon lights glow tonight,

Revealing concrete dreams;

As you ponder on the darkest night,

Before electric streams,

Glittered the dark with light.

Has the light brought you sight?

Are your dreams the clearer?

Or have you been blinded by light?

Which makes all wishes dearer,

Under hazy skies tonight?

Do the glistening streetlights,

Fulfill your pining heart?

And guide you home in darkest nights,

When all hopes shatter apart?

Or do they rob you of your sight?

The neon lights glow tonight,

In a concrete dreamland;

While you contemplate why nothing’s right.

When all the world’s made light, you stand,

Alone beneath a streetlight,

And quietly raise a hand.

Shading your eyes from the light,

You spot a distant star:

Dim under the veiling streetlight.

Will your wish still make it that far?

To guide you home tonight?

K. Aldaya, 5/19/15

Picture: Concept Art: “Europolis” from Dreamfall Chapters by Red Thread Games; http://www.thirteenchapters.net/

305. Isn’t Love Challenging?

tumblr_n3axfqD5HM1sgsmamo1_500

Why do you fall to meet me,

Instead of raise me up?

Should we not challenge anything,

And grow down, not up?

Wouldn’t the world be a sad sight,

If flowers never bloomed?

If their roots strangled each other,

And all of that beauty was doomed?

No one needs someone to grab them,

When they’re leaning on the edge.

What they need is someone to question,

Their decision to stand on a ledge.

Isn’t it going to be too late,

When at the edge we stand?

To be the “selves” we might have been,

If you’d tried to understand?

Shouldn’t we build each other up,

Instead of just standing here?

Wouldn’t we be the best of ourselves,

If we stopped idling in fear?

K. Aldaya, 5/17/15

GIF: Original Source Unknown;  http://rebloggy.com/post/gif-love-girl-sad-lonely-beautiful-awesome-vintage-hurt-wonderful-alone-grunge-w/81286180650

304. Lunatic Hours

Red Clock Eyes Wallpaper

Tic. Tic. Tic. Tic.

Listen up and listen quick.

Tic. Tic. Tic. Tic.

He’s a raving lunatic.

Tic. Tic. Tic. Tic.

Life’s a crazy horror-flick.

Tic. Tic. Tic. Tic.

Lock the door with a *click*.

Tic. Tic. Tic. Tic.

Choices: Which will you pick?

Tic. Tic. Tic. Tic.

Every choice will make you sick.

Tic. Tic. Tic. Tic.

Skin is thin and blood is thick.

Tic. Tic. Tic. Tic.

You want to know his little trick?

Tic. Tic. Tic. Tic.

Slit your wrists and make it quick.

Tic. Tic. Tic. Tic.

Death, it hates a lunatic.

Tic. Tic. Tic. Tic.

Lunatics are pretty slick.

Tic. Tic. Tic.

Death can’t kill a lunatic.

Tic. Tic.

‘Cause they’re already dead…

Tic.

K. Aldaya, 5/9/15

Picture: Artist Unknown; http://www.wallpaperseries.com/girls/red-clock-eyes-wallpaper.html

303. Random Thought #9

Lost-Soul-575x431

What should be done about this?

This life of endless woe?

What should be done about lost souls…

Which still live?…I want to know!

Would you expect a broken tool,

To repair anything?

Then why expect a broken soul,

To do that very thing?

Yell at them all that you like.

Tell them they’re pathetic and lazy.

It doesn’t change the fact of the matter:

That they’re punished for being made crazy.

Their minds are full of rusted tools,

Which shatter and fall apart.

They haven’t the tools in there, you see,

To repair a shattered heart.

K. Aldaya, 5/7/15

Picture:  Artist Unknown; http://desktopia.net/art/lost-soul-desktop-wallpaper/

302. Gothic

StarryNight_Posterreworked

The beauty of the universe,

Is truly a sight to behold.

There is joy to be found in many places,

And if I could be so bold…

I’d say: Beauty has many faces.

Even in the darkest of nights,

When shadows traverse the planet,

The universe is seen more dazzling and pure;

And all the stars which span it,

Only the darkness can confer.

True beauty is not found skin-deep.

Things which on the surface may seem,

Dark and depressing or freakish and bizarre,

May be just the things which beam,

And bare the most enchanting star.

You shouldn’t reject out of hand,

The beauty which lies in the dark.

You may find you’ve missed, what in life, is most grand:

Something which shines in the dark!

You may miss a new stars’ first spark.

K. Aldaya, 4/26/15

Picture: Interpretation of Vincent Van Gogh’s Starry Night by Alex Ruiz; http://images.fineartamerica.com/images-medium-large/starry-night-alex-ruiz.jpg