498. Bla[me]

I can not blame my mother,

For she is merely human;

And I can not blame my father,

For he is but a man.

I can not blame the sun,

For being unable to sleep;

And I can not blame the moon,

Which stays distant while I weep.

I can not blame the planet,

For teeming with endless life;

And I can not blame the seasons,

For my sorrow and strife.

I can not blame the world,

Or the criminals which infest.

I can not blame our species,

For not always being best.

I can not blame anyone,

For being the way I am.

I am not what they think I am.

I’m nothing but a sham!

I can not blame the ‘verse,

For the frigid and remote views,

From my spot down here on Earth;

To apperceive and peruse.

I can not blame my body;

It’s as human as can be.

I can only blame what doesn’t work,

And what doesn’t work, is me.

K. Aldaya, 12/11/19

Picture: By Andrew Le on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/uggEzuTP7Xk

497. An Uncivil War

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You were not kind,

And you weren’t the worst;

And though you’re gone,

I must say first,

I wish we could’ve met again one day,

Yet time has taken you away,

And now we’re history.

Strong wooden houses,

We each stood there in time,

Though soon the floors creak,

And are covered with grime;

And I wish we could’ve gone to see,

And understand our history;

Before you were torn down.

I longed for more,

Yet now it can’t be.

We remain unvisited;

Unpreserved and empty.

They say that it’s an uncivil war,

To fight time for anything more…

Than what we are given.

So here I stand,

In the past and present,

With only a memory,

To prove you are absent.

We are nothing more than mere moments in time,

A barren plot,… a whisper,… a passage in rhyme…

Civilly squandered.

K. Aldaya, 10/20/19

In Memoriam

Picture: Judith Henry’s House, Manassas, Virginia, 1862; American Civil War; https://www.pinterest.ch/pin/462815299200135707/

496. Stained

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I know there is no middle ground.

Once something hidden is found,

It can not go and hide again;

And if some things aren’t tolerable then…

Not being honest means being accepted,

And being honest means being rejected.

Now it’s too late, and I’m riddled with fear.

Will I lose all that I hold dear?

I used to have nothing to lose.

Now I feel that I must choose:

Be selfish and hurt those I love,

Or be selfless and never rise above…

The pain.

Everything I touch, I stain.

K. Aldaya, 10/9/19

Picture: By Ian Espinosa on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/oXo6IvDnkqc

495. Burnt Bridge

It’s said you should say nothing,

If there’s nothing nice to say.

Yet I would rather hear the truth,

Than watch you walk away.

If only you would say something,

And let sparks hit the air.

The fire may burn far too bright,

Though at least I’d feel you care…

To try… to fight… to live on…,

For our relationship to survive,

The winters of our lifetimes;

To feel, and hope, and strive.

I may not be what you wish I was,

And it’s easy to feel let down,

When we forget it’s not just about us;

Faced with each confronting smile and frown.

I wonder if someday you’ll stop,

And think of way back when…

Back to when we were still good friends.

Will you wonder what could have been?

It’s said you should say nothing,

If there’s nothing nice to say.

Yet I would rather have heard the truth,

Than to have watched you calmly walk away.

K. Aldaya, 10/7/19

Picture: By Nico E. on Unsplash; https://unsplash.com/photos/AAbjUJsgjvE