Why is it that I feel so happy when you’re near?
When you notice me, look at my face,…
And just in that you’re here?
Is something wrong with me that I want your attention?
When loved and love is it yet not enough?
Is that why I crave your affection?
I hate myself for caring when you are not around.
Am I that pathetic that I can’t be content standing on the ground?
Do I need to fly?
To leave the confines I am in?
Do I long be an angel or seraphim when I am but a human?
I do not deserve this much attention,…I know that…I do,
Yet I want your love. I need your love.
I feel I’ll fade without you too.
Does that mean that I love you?
In caring that you’ll leave?
And in knowing that one day when you do,
I will cry and your loss grieve?
What is love exactly? How do I know what is love or not?
Is love what I feel when I’m with you?
Or is it the attention which is sought?
All I know is that you confuse me….
I question everything.
My heart is like a puppet manipulated by your string.
And if you someday don’t care anymore, or don’t notice me.
Will my heart fall never to be moved or will it finally be free?
K. Aldaya, 03/22/13
Picture: “Reaching Out For Love” by kjherstin; http://kjherstin.deviantart.com/art/Reaching-out-for-love-58708494