Why is it when you’re near my heart becomes rigid with fear?
Your presence makes me fall back into myself with tear;
Screams descend with minds’-call.
Why is it when you’re here my life progresses disappear,
Into resonant past?
And yet I try to persevere by destroying the cast.
Why is it you appear to chaos my soul with endear?
What did you do to place the horrors of each life-year onto your aging face?
Why is it when you’re near my solitude is made severe?
–Lose everything again–
On my eyes a bloody-smear becomes a perm’nent stain.
Why is it when you’re here distant pain-memories appear?
Cannot escape them now,
Not now, or ever my dear,
For that you won’t allow!
Why is it you appear to float within the hostage-drear,
And love what you destroy?
For with murderous domineer you break your favorite toy.
K. Aldaya, 5/26/05